There were a lot of great things in this episode. First and foremost, the A-plot, which involved Max and Caroline trying to blackmail venture capitalist Owen Charles Boyd after his cat impregnates theirs. The fact that I could wrap it up in a single sentence underscores its simplicity. Once you’ve established the premise you’re free to concentrate on jokes and the absurdity that spins out of it, and the former has some wins [the latter I’ll get to].

While we’re staying positive, it was nice to see them back up the fact that the two girls live in a bad neighbourhood. They’re always going on about how horrible their life is in their enormous apartment, so having honest to goodness evidence that what lies outside of it is women screaming [which, let’s face it, is pretty uncomfortable] and men running away [presumably from some recently committed crime] and garbage literally everywhere is nice. It’s the closest the 2 Broke Girls has come to “showing vs. telling” in a long time, even if it is undercut by the fact that they still reference stuff off-screen. I guess that’s my cue to get into a little bit of criticism.

Those legs. Yikes.

Remember Chestnut? He’s been around since the first season but didn’t make an appearance until he absolutely needed to, for the Victoria’s Secret models to fawn over when they visited [S4E6]. On a similar note, we haven’t seen Nancy, their cat, since early last season, in “And the It Hole” [S3E8]. I totally understand that it’s hard to have live animals on set, but if it’s that difficult why bother “casting” them at all? To have a pet not appear for 30 episodes, or more than an entire season of the show, feels especially strange when one of the minor conflicts between Max and Caroline is how the latter is not a fan of said pet, while the former is.

To restate the first paragraph, I really do like the premise of the episode. I do. My problem is that someone in the writers’ room came up with it and they then had to sort of create a status quo out of thin air to support the narrative. Up to this point most of us had honestly forgotten that Nancy even existed. Except for me, of course, because-

I cannot forget this. Nancy was named after Sophie’s dead Polish friend because she was or is apparently a reincarnation of that person. I will never forget it because an actual Polish person called it out for being racist BS in the comments section and now here we are, and here’s this cat and all I can think is that humour based on false stereotypes rarely ever pays off.

As for the episode itself, their blackmail fails, which is unsurprising given that the show predicates itself on not giving the girls a “win”. I would like to note, however, that they are focusing on the consequence of the $10K business loan and the thousands of t-shirts that they cannot sell because a serial kidnapper wore it on the news. It may not seem like it, but this is actually the direst their situation has ever been, especially since they appear have all but given up on actually selling cupcakes to make money.

At this point we have five more episodes left before Season 4 comes to a close, and what I’m really hoping for is that the finale has all the lasting effectiveness of “And the Window of Opportunity” [S2E24] in regards to shaking things up, and not the forced and oft-repeated emotional beat of “And the First Degree” [S3E24]. I of course hope that things get better, or at least head in a specific direction, given the fact that as of a few weeks ago 2 Broke Girls was renewed for a 5th season. You read that right, everyone, I’m stuck to this show for at least another year. This isn’t the worst episode to ponder that idea, either, because as you can see below there was some pretty solid comedic writing this week-

Current Total: $1,475.

New Total: $975. Once again leaving viewers to figure out where $500 of cold hard cash went. They discuss fixing Nancy due to her being a “slut”, so I guess that’s what happened to their rapidly dwindling total.

The Title Refers To: Nancy being pregnant.

Stray Observations:

• Earl talking about how he might die during sex: “I know, those ladies don’t know whether I’m coming or going”
• “No, I sleep like a dead baby it’s my one gift.” I remember dead baby jokes.
• “Yeah, I don’t need a thousand pink t-shirts. My dad’s already mad at me I don’t care about sports.”
• “I-” / “Here it comes-” / “-went to Wharton.” / “-boom.”
• “This one won’t come out, it’s like the Queen Latifah of kittens.”
• Han doesn’t pay for cat maternity leave. “This isn’t Google.”
• “Did he just drop a gun?” / “It’s fine, he has more.”
• “Do either of you know how to turn the phrase self-absorbed ridiculous pig into a compliment?”
• There’s no way these kittens could be siblings, the look wildly different from each other and exactly 0% of them look like Nancy.
• “Invest? This is the financial capital of the world yes it is-“
• As a quick FYI to Max, Grumpy cat is a “she”. Everyone knows this.
• Maybe It’s Maxoline: Not today.
• 2 Broke Girls Cheesecake Menu: I’m not going to say I miss the T&A, but I at the very least miss writing about the T&A.
• Dated Reference Galore: There’s a Jonah Hill fat joke. I didn’t know we were still making those.

Did anyone else know that this is the second episode of 2 Broke Girls that Fred Savage, of that-little-kid-being-read-the-story-in-The-Princess-Bride fame, has directed? The first being last week’s. I don’t think there’s been any discernible spike or dip in quality, but it is kind of neat. I also feel like I need to mention that he’s 38 years old and his Wikipedia picture is of him at age 13.

This week the show decides to completely do away with the “Current Total” at the end of each episode by blindsiding us with the fact that Max and Caroline’s account is below zero. I’m going to spoil two of my feature at the end of this review to just lay it on you, because they go from a Current Total of $975 to a brand new low of -$14. And no, there are no solid explanations as to how this happens. Caroline mentions that their business loan payments are eating away at them, but the fact that she mentions it in passing makes the fact that they lost almost a grand in a week pretty jarring.

Their salvation comes in the form of the pastry school character you’ve all been clamouring for! Sorry, it’s not Deke. No, it’s also not Judy with the Booty. It’s John, AKA Big Mary, Max’s large gay classmate who was given a handful of lines last season. When the going gets tough the tough get a third job, and so the two girls are off to try their hand at working for The High, the new restaurant opening out of the High Line Park in Manhattan.

At this point the episode kind of . . . falls to pieces. There’s at least one laugh-out-loud moment, which I one hundred percent give them full credit for, but as far as the narrative it gets pretty unwieldy. Two different plots are introduced, and they neither reach any sort of satisfying conclusion nor interact with one another significantly. They are:

• Han, Earl, Sophie, and Oleg all showing up at the restaurant to support their friends/coworkers/employees.
• the never before mentioned fact that Max “can’t bake not baked”, which leads to her very short search to locate weed. Vaguely reminiscent of “Wasted Talent”, an episode of Family Guy where Peter could only play the piano while drunk.

The former isn’t really wrapped up at all, though it is far funnier. Max somehow finds some way to quiet everyone down and it is literally never explained. As far as the former, she gets weed from Rico in the kitchen and that’s it. There’s no frantic search for drugs or any indication that she wouldn’t have been able to do her job without being on any substances. Caroline merely finds out that she’s sober and insists she do something to correct that fact. I don’t think it takes up even three minutes of the episode as a whole.

It’s a mess. That’s all I really have to say about that. We end things and Caroline gets promoted from waitress to hostess and Max gets to keep being a pastry chef [those were the jobs they were working I did not mention that earlier]. I’m sure we’ll find out next week how they’re managing to juggle all three at once, probably with a Time-Turner or something like that. Harry Potter nerds, you know what’s up.

Before I put a solid cap to things I want to very quickly shine a little light on the LGBT characters in this episode. Big Mary [they call him that more often than John] appears to be interested in Han, and very explicitly refers to him as a “she”. I’m not going to claim to be any expert on gay culture, but is that common at all? It felt wrong to me. There was also the chance at a subplot when he’s sent to the kitchen, ostensibly because he’s not as attractive as Max is. This isn’t really followed up on, though. Also the owner of the restaurant, Joedth [the D, T, and H are silent] is portrayed as being in a lesbian multi-generational relationship, which is . . . progressive, I guess? She doesn’t appear to have any strong affection for her significant other. Either way, both appear to be the latest semi-regular cast members to grace our screens. It remains to be seen whether they’ll last anywhere as long as Luis, who has essentially evaporated into thin air.

Current Total: $975.

New Total: -$14. This is literally the lowest the total has ever been. The lowest it has ever been prior to this was back in Season 2 Episode 18, when it was a single dollar.

The Title Refers To: Allie, Joedth’s girlfriend, who shows up to the restaurant opening both high and drunk. Possibly also a reference to Max, though there is never anything said about a zero tolerance policy at The High.

Stray Observations:

• Modern Family did a drone episode almost four full weeks ago. Catch up, 2 Broke Girls.
• “I mean, if I wanted to be spied on I’d change my name to Achmed and buy a condo near the airport.”
• “Cupcakes. Buy cupcakes! BUY CUPCAKES!“
• The show’s philosophy encapsulated in an exchange between Max and Joedth: “Everything you just said offended me.” / “That’s my brand.”
• Big Mary’s three elder siblings all came out to his Mormon parents.
• For someone who’s emotionally attached to her pearls Caroline sure hasn’t been wearing them much lately.
• “Do I have any weed? Let me check my hump.”
• “Wow, this dishroom is cleaner than Chris Christie’s plate after lunch!” There was a very audible “WHOA” from a member of the studio audience at this joke.
• “If i could act I’d sell the restaurant and get cast in two-line roles as the doctor in any network television show!”
• “GIRLS LOOK, OLEG IS WEARING HIS NAPKIN AS A PARTY HAT!”
• “I’m gonna go have sex in the ladies room, unless you two prudes have a problem with that, too.”
• “Excuse me, can I get a latte and a red wine. ‘Cause I got a vicodin stuck in my throat.”
• “Bill Cosby has ruined it for all Black men over 70 who are just trying to buy a gal a drink.”
• Maybe It’s Maxoline: Retiring this post next week if nothing new happens.
• 2 Broke Girls Cheesecake Menu: Oh, yeah, Caroline and Max try to seduce Joedth after finding out she’s a lesbian.

I, Evan Yeong, do solemnly swear that I will keep it together when reviewing this episode. This close to the end of Season 4 and it only makes sense that I remain cool, calm, and collected as I chronicle how 2 Broke Girls concludes its fourth year and prepares for its fifth. In retrospect, given how things have gone as of late, I was kind of a fool for not instituting the EVAN YEONG MADNESS WATCH I considered back in my first ever review of the show.

This week’s episode is the first in over a month without Nashit, a poor character portrayed by a very stand-up dude named Austin Falk. His tenure as Max’s love interest lasted all of five weeks, which doesn’t quite match up with reigning champion Deke [Eric Andre] who holds the title at eight episodes. Let’s all pour out a bit of our beverage of choice for poor Sebastian who was with us but for a single installment of the show. And no, I haven’t forgotten about Johnny, but he’s from a time before I was officially reviewing 2 Broke Girls when it was somehow worse than it is now-

-and before you remind me of the first line of this entire review you need to hold on just a sec, because this episode was actually pretty good! There were some terrible “jokes” as per usual but also some very funny ones! I’m actually in a good mood because of it!

This episode is actually an Oleg and Sophie episode, which leads me to wonder why I haven’t come up with a gross portmanteau-couple-name for the two of them yet. Soleg? Ophie? Both truly, truly terrible. The wedding is finally rearing its ugly head [ostensibly taking place in the season finale] and given that Sophie went through all the trouble of finding a maid of honour I suppose it’s high time that Oleg find a best man.

Given that the only two other male characters on the show are Earl and Han, it had to be one of them, and let’s be fair we all know it wasn’t going to be the former. Han throws Oleg a bachelor party and fun stuff happens there that I’ll mention below, as well as the revelation being made that the fry cook is an illegal immigrant of sorts [by which I mean he is absolutely an illegal immigrant]. That leads to this whole thing because if Sophie finds out that their marriage will result in his green card her mistrust in men may cause her to call it all off.

And it absolutely does result in that, for a time. I need to mention that Jonathan Kite acts incredibly well in the scenes where he’s uncomfortable and trying to tell Sophie the truth; he absolutely 100% sells it. Within the span of a few short minutes, however, Oleg manages to prove his love to his wife-to-be by planting his lips on, well-

Not the LGBT kiss anyone was expecting. Or wanted. Or needed.

Han and Oleg, literally no one’s OTP. It’s an expression of his devotion to Sophie, however, and accompanies his promise that he’ll marry anyone he has to in order to stay in the country and win her over. It’s sweet in only the way Oleg can be sweet, and honestly not a terrible lead-in to what I already promised up above, the inevitable wedding/season finale episode.

Elsewhere we have Max and Caroline opening up the airport branch of The High where not much happens. I mentioned my confusion in last week’s review as to why this was a terrible thing and it most definitely continues on to this week. Apparently working in an airport is a truly terrible fate that the characters of this show would only wish upon their worst enemies. I may have romanticized the whole idea of holding down a job in that sort of environment, though-

Even without having seen The Terminal it really never struck me as that bad a gig, but then again I did do a good portion of my traveling in a pre-9/11 world. Anyway, all that really happens there is that a cute pilot flirts with Caroline, and later on at the bachelor party she sends him a boob pic with her face in it. As Max states outright, “Girl! You stupid!”

I didn’t expect them to touch on the very relevant topic of privacy and personal/intimate images and their being [stolen and] shared online and all that, or even to have them track down the pilot in order to erase said picture from his phone. That being said, it ends with them finding out that her boob pic has been turned into a meme. There’s obviously a lot of very serious stuff to be said about this, but honestly I just found the idea of that meme existing at all to be very funny.

That’s really how it ends, though, everyone. Han and Oleg’s wedding is still on and Caroline becomes a meme. A meme you can make more of! Use this link and leave your own in the comments!

Next week I will of course be doing what I do every year and try to figure out what direction this show is headed, and what I think about that. This week I’m going to legitimately enjoy myself by listing all the parts I like in the Stray Observations below [there are lots of them!].

Current Total: $2,261.

New Total: $3,261. I don’t know how they made a cool one grand. I can’t explain it.

The Title Refers To: Okay, seriously though there are no references to grates anywhere in this episode. I’m very strongly of the opinion that this was supposed to be titled “And the Gate Expectations” in reference to their pastry restaurant in the airport but somewhere along the way someone at CBS royally screwed up.

Stray Observations:

• Resident large guys Big Doug and Sancho have been known to enjoy a few BLTs [Burgers, Lasagnas, and Tacos].
• “And we’re trying to get in shape.” / “Preferably a shape that doesn’t resemble a seasonal gourd.”
• I’m going to use this bullet to state that they poke fun at Max being a child and the object of men’s sexual attention, Oprah’s weight fluctuation, and the Malaysian Airlines tragedy last year. Not great.
• “If I took a run at you you’d go right through that wall like Wile E. Coyote.”
• Oleg’s brother Yushinko couldn’t be best man because he’s in jail. Which is too bad because Sophie engraved a ham for him.
• “No way, you know I was planning on going home and crying tonight.” Caroline, any excuse to get out of a party.
• “What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common? They more you play with it the harder it gets. [beat] A Rubik’s Cube is a popular 80s toy.”
• “What’s in that, ground glass?” Han feels the same way I do about bad vodka.
• “This party is worse than the communist party. And they killed half my family.”
• “[Sophie] has major trust issues since one day her father went out for perogies and [beat] came back without perogies.”
• “Max, I just did something I’ve never done.” / “Tell a story about someone else?”
• I wanted to capture the face Caroline said she made when taking her boob pic because it is hilarious.
• Also, Matthew Moy/Han is the MVP this episode. First of all there’s his tipsily smashing the glass he tries to give a toast with-

• -the subsequent line “I am bleeding. I repeat, I am bleeding.”
• And then his best man speech:

“Sophie. Oleg. What’s there to say about these two kids? Oleg is a bad cook. Sophie, quite loud. But somehow when they get together, magic.”

• “Oh no, what am I gonna do with all those pigeons I painted wedding white-“
• “Woo, sunglasses and Advil. Last night was mad real.”
• “My boob pic is gonna be hanging over me for the rest of my life.” / “Aw c’mon, your boob couldn’t hang over a pencil.”

Here we are at last, presented with nearly twenty-two full minutes of television to cap off the fourth season of 2 Broke Girls and set the stage for the fifth. As I’ve pointed out in the past few weeks leading up to this one there is a lot riding on season finales, so it really pains me to say that this one does not deliver.

In my review of last season’s finale I listed off the momentous events that closed off the show’s first two years, which are as follows:

• Season 1 –  they meet Martha Stewart, a gigantic leap forward when it comes to them opening their cupcake store
• Season 2 – the decision is made to open a new store in a hidden room adjacent to the rest of the diner [given their old location having a car in one wall]

I also noted the way that that particular season ended:

• Season 3 – Max passes a US History final and gets her GED

Which, let’s all be fair, is and was not the biggest deal. I mean, yes, it’s great that Max now has a high school diploma, but what does it mean for her and Caroline moving forward? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. This season’s finale does at least include both girls, but can unfortunately be summed up as:

• Season 4 – Max and Caroline remember that they have a dream of their own, ie. their cupcake shop

That’s right, it dawns on them that they once had a plan to start their own business, a plotline that can actually be traced back to the very first season. What’s really jarring about this epiphany is that they’ve been in possession of their very own cupcake shop with its new storefront from the beginning of Season 3 to the end of Season 4. To have that fact in mind and then hear Caroline say that they “haven’t abandoned it, [they] just haven’t paid attention to it in three months” only makes it that much weirder.

Even when looking back through the season any episodes that had to do with their business were directly connected to their new venture focused on apparel. The $10k loan that they take out doesn’t have anything to do with baked goods and everything to do with t-shirts. Then that was swiftly abandoned due to bad press and they began work at The High to do what they could to pay off the aforementioned loan.

Creator and executive producer Michael Patrick King returns to both direct and write this episode in the hopes of trying to put things back on track, and he really has his work cut out for him. On one hand he needs to bring the story arc of Sophie and Oleg’s marriage to a close in a satisfying manner, and on the other he needs to, as I keep saying, set things up for for the fifth season. King needs, needed, to leave us in a place where we’re counting down the days until we can find out what happens to Max and Caroline!

To skip over the wedding completely [some of it will make it into my Stray Observations I’m sure] it’s two airline hostesses who are the cause of Max’s realization, with one saying to the other:

“Bonnie, let’s admit it, we’re never going to go for our dream. [. . .] If we really wanted our own business we would’ve done it already. Just like Max and Caroline did.”

Which results in her rewarding them with coconut macadamia cake and rushing to the back to tell Caroline:

“We have our own business. The High isn’t our failure. We already have our very own failure- called max’s homemade cupcakes! And if we stay here we’ll be building someone else’s dream not ours.”

Having laid out exactly how it happened what I really want to get into is why it happened. Was it the writers’ plan all along to bring attention away from their cupcake shop so that they could have this sudden realization that they’ve been neglecting it? Why does it feel like it’s not just the characters who are backtracking but those in charge of the show’s narrative as well?

As someone who is basically locked into watching 2 Broke Girls until it’s one day pulled off the air I’m actually very invested in it being a good show. I do want to see Max and Caroline grow as characters and move in a particular direction and I’m disappointed that this season has been so centred on them losing their way. Or maybe, as someone stuck in a job he enjoys very little, I’m just making my own dissatisfaction with my current stage in life clearly apparent by projecting on these fictional characters. That being said just because their situation may be realistic and even relatable does not make it good television.

Having said all that, come back in the fall when I will be covering the fifth season of the show and however it unfolds. While this season has been a pretty shaky one I actually have some hope that the writers will be serving up something more cohesive given what Max tells her [only?] friend:

“Well, partner, after all we’ve been through this year, whatever comes next I kinda feel ready for it.”

Also, please feel free to make Caroline Boob Pic memes to pass the time between now and then!

Current Total: $3,261.

New Total: $89. Max and Caroline totally do what I predicted would happen two episodes ago and head off to Paris, France. Which explains why they’re back in the double digits when it comes to whatever this amount is supposed to represent.

The Title Refers To: The airport branch of The High and how it isn’t doing well. I’d really been hoping that this episode was going to be more Storage Wars-related.

Stray Observations:

• I’m going to get this out of the way early, but we double down on the sexual abuse jokes [“I thought family style service was what I had to do with my uncle.”] when Han acknowledges it in a jab back at Max [“I don’t know what your uncle saw in you.”].
• That doesn’t keep the audience from shrieking with laughter, however. They’re a lot more lively than usual, likely due to it being the last episode of the season.
• “Wow, business is slower than the third season of House of Cards.”
• Big Mary/John is back to talk about his sex life [surprise, surprise], this time sharing about his new Grindr account.
• One of the stewardesses is played by Caroline Rhea, who was one of the aunts on Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. What a great show.
• Also their thing is high fiving and wow, it is too much.
• As someone who has travelled a fair bit Caroline’s list of their establishment’s many services really got me:

“Welcome to The High, the finest in high quality desserts. We also have yogurts, cappuccinos, lattes, coffee, herb teas, or smart waters. And did I mention we’re a Boingo hotspot!“

• Evidence they’ve been neglecting their cupcake shop: Earl has a grow op in the closet.
• Chestnut makes an appearance as the steed Oleg rides down the aisle!
• And has to be decked out in pink ribbons, much to his owner’s chagrin. “I guess there’s a reason ‘horse’ sounds so much like ‘whore'”.
• The waiter Caroline hired is named “Mohammed Mehdinejad” and keeps getting held up by the TSA. “This whole Middle East situation is just so inconvenient for me!” she says.
• Pop Culture Put-Downs: a new feature that I hope to continue into Season 5, this episode featured jokes at the expense of: the Pitt-Jolie children, Anne Hathaway on The Tonight Show, and some woman named Meredith Baxter-Birney.
• Max says “I’ve never been in coach” but we all know she’s flown on an actual private jet so don’t start with me about this it doesn’t make any sense-
• Come back on Friday for a special exclusive 2 Broke Girls-related interview! You don’t want to miss it!

Last Friday I was blessed with the opportunity to have a very lengthy conversation with actor Federico Dordei, who appeared in a number of episodes of 2 Broke Girls as Luis, the day waiter at the Williamsburg Diner. He initially left a comment on one of my reviews of the show and agreed to answer a few of my questions about what it was like to be a part of it. Given that we ended up talking for a full hour I’ve opted to split the interview up into two parts.

In this first segment of questions and answers Fed [I can call him that since we are friends now] reveals what his time on the show was like, as well as what ultimately ended up happening to both him and Luis. My questions and comments are in bold, with his responses as regular text.

Your character Luis is one of my all-time favourites on the show, and reading back on my review of the first episode he appeared in it’s pretty apparent how much I liked him. Now you appeared in nine episodes of 2 Broke Girls-

I actually shot ten episodes, not nine.

I was supposed to start out as a guest star for an arc of three episodes, then it was renewed to six and they finally brought me back for four more. During this time I got the assumption that I may become a regular due to numerous comments made by some of the executives, such as “This is your home now!”, “This is just the beginning!”, etc. [Creator and producer] Michael Patrick King loved me and the character I brought to life.

The first episode was great, too, the writing was sarcastic and very funny. It was a little bit exaggerated, but I felt like I could bring it to life and have a lot of fun with it. The next two episodes you saw, the writing was kind of off with Luis. Not that funny, I didn’t know what to do with it. I was worried the live audience wouldn’t laugh!

For the most part it seems like things were looking pretty good for both you and Luis.

Well, after the third episode I shot I was invited to the birthday of one of the show’s producers. I was drinking and partying with some of the writers, talking about the show, and said that I really loved the writing for Luis, but that the next two episodes were not as funny for that character. It was a simple fun chat between co-workers while enjoying ourselves. One of the writers, he went to Michael Patrick King telling him that I was complaining about lines. Took things out of context and made it look like I was talking shit.

What Michael Patrick King does, he calls me and rips me a new asshole. Got me on the phone and shredded me to pieces, asking how dare I talk shit, I should be lucky he gave me any lines at all. He went on and on. At the end of the conversation I explained that I wasn’t talking shit, that it was just an innocent and honest chat between party buds having fun! And that it was passed on to him out of context and that I felt utterly blessed to be part of the show. He said “Have you ever heard the Girls [Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs] complain about lines?” Of course I said “No,” ’cause I’m not a snitch… But if he was ever with us in the makeup room he would have known the answer to that [laughs].

I thought it was just a normal comment, but he said that writers are like babies; they’re very difficult and very sensitive, especially when their words on paper are criticized. The writer was very young, too. He said this can’t happen anymore. He said “Do you know why I’m calling you?” I said, “You’re firing me?” He told me, “Nope, I’m calling you because I want to keep you and for you to rectify this. I don’t want this to happen again.”

Now, I’m Italian! Before I was making lasagna for everyone (around 200 people) and treated every single person on Stage 21 as family. But Michael Patrick King told me to be a professional, that this wasn’t a family, it’s work!

I went back to set for the fourth episode and I kept to myself. I stayed away from Michael Patrick King and I tried being less overly friendly and more professional with the rest of the cast and crew. I was trying to give Michael Patrick King what he wanted. But even so he really changed towards me, too. He started being cold and mean, criticizing my acting and how I delivered my lines with a scary intensity that came out as anger, almost like if I didn’t do it right he’d fire me, or worse, kill me! [laughs] He would show me how to do it by imitating me, all angry, and yelling that I needed to be louder and more over the top.

Every time we perform in front of studio executives, every time we read a joke, the writers look at Michael Patrick King. If he laughs they laugh. If he doesn’t laugh they don’t laugh. He’s really a very intense and passionate person who keeps his employees on their toes, their shaking toes. [laughs] He talks in a direct, tough way, he doesn’t hesitate to yell  or to just dismiss you if he feels like it. Nonetheless, during this time I still loved him and justified his behaviour thinking that he was acting like a tough father figure or something, I still felt like it was my home.

With the third episode my rate doubled, so I went to Michael Patrick King and thanked him- “Hey, thank you. That’s a nice amount of money I’m getting paid.” He told me, “Don’t thank me, that’s the agent, that’s Hollywood.” I don’t know how it works. I’m Italian, just being polite.

The incident at the party aside, all signs still point to you becoming a regular on the show. What exactly happened for Luis to end up being dropped from 2 Broke Girls?

So there were about five more episodes that I shot after that, and I was very excited about them. I’m very critical of my own work but the audience loved it. But Michael Patrick King would keep cutting out my character. The scenes would work well but then he would edit me out and use the same writing and jokes in upcoming episodes. These would have been really big episodes for Luis.

Then all of a sudden he just stopped calling.

I remember when he was on the phone with me he told me, “Listen, I’m calling you because I want you to rectify this. If I didn’t want you I would’ve stopped using you on the show, I would use you less and less and then not at all.” But that’s exactly what he ended up doing.

The casting director called him and said “What happened to Luis?” They dropped him completely without any notice, nothing. It was pretty brutal because you work with someone for five months every single day…

I was phased out slowly without even letting me know. Honestly I’m still hurt by all this. Remember, I was convincing myself he was like a tough father figure, so the letdown was hard on many levels. Kat would say he had a crush on me and that’s why he treated me the way that he did [laughs].

I’m pretty bummed to hear how it happened, especially since I think the show would’ve really really benefited by keeping you around. 

At this point it’s pretty clear to me that Michael Patrick King has a very specific way of doing things. Were the other cast members more used to that than you were ?

Jennifer Coolidge [who plays Sophie] is a legend and one of the coolest actresses ever, and even she had some anxiety sometimes. She also found him intimidating! [laughs] She’s older than me and she’s been working for years, so her getting nervous around him says a lot!

The Girls are fine, they’re great. They can respond to him with tone because he can’t fire them. They’re the 2 Broke Girls! [laughs] They’re the only people with the cajones and guts to act with the same tone he has. 

Honestly, it sounds a like kind of a tense environment to work in.

Everyone wants to have a good, stress-free time on set. Really, the only people having fun are the girls and Jonathan Kite [who plays Oleg]. He’s amazing, the best in the world. Whenever the audience laughed he’d make a point to yell out and give credit to the writers. He goes over his lines when he’s off camera, he’s never gonna leave the show.

Garrett Morris [who plays Earl] is the best on so many levels, another bona fide legend. Sometimes he’d be justifiably offended when he only had one or two lines, but I used to share a lot of laughter with him, he’s a great joke teller. [laughs]

Garrett Morris is a former SNL cast member, and I’ve definitely noticed entire episodes when he won’t get more than a handful of lines.

That’s exactly right. He’s a regular and has complained to the writers more than once. Jennifer Coolidge on the other hand gets a lot of dialogue because the audience loves her so much.

Now I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but do you think her character is TOO over the top?

Honestly, yeah. I do think that Sophie is a bit much. . .

It’s not her, it’s Michael Patrick King. He’s always telling her to be BIGGER and louder. Every time we did a table read she was so fucking hysterical. Actually shooting it Michael Patrick King wants her to exaggerate everything, and he loves it!

At my first table read I played a more subtle kind of gay guy. He told me, “I can’t hear you, the person in the back can’t hear you!” In other multicamera shows they’re not shouting like this, this isn’t I Love Lucy. You can’t tell me this is how multicam works; 2 Broke Girls is the only show with this style that has these caricatures of characters. But he told me what he wanted and I always delivered.

Kat Dennings is a great actress, but even on 2 Broke Girls she just yells the lines and tilts her head. [laughs] She’s not like the character as a real person, as a human being. Super opposite of the character: straight edge, no drugs, no drinking. Nothing to do with the character she plays. She’s a great person and I’m very fond of her.

She told me, “Oh man, first season, every time I go home from shooting I’d have Michael in my head saying be louder, be louder.” Back with her boyfriend she yelled “I LOVE YOU” in his ear thinking she was whispering! [laughs]

Really I think she’s the best person on set. Her and Jen and Garrett. The whole crew is great, like a big family. But when Michael Patrick King enters the fun is over. I thought I was gonna be fired every episode, and eventually I was.

Stop by again on Friday for Part 2 when Federico shares even more about his experience being on the 2 Broke Girls set, as well as the future of the show as it continues to move forward without Luis!

Three days ago I posted the first half of my interview with actor Federico Dordei, which largely concerned how his character ended up departing 2 Broke Girls. In the second we talked about how the regular cast handles criticism, the future of multicamera sitcoms, and how in the end absolutely everything is up to Michael Patrick King.

Just like last time, my questions and comments are in bold, with his responses as regular text.

So in a lot of my reviews I often hold the writers’ room accountable for any jokes that I feel go a little bit too far-

Michael Patrick King has the final say. There’s even a picture of him on set that says “Godfather”! [laughs]

Really?

There’s a pyramid on the wall of photos and his at the very top and says “Godfather” on it.

Every episode one writer comes up with an idea. So one writer goes to the writers’ room with the thing he wrote and then all together the writers pitch in to make it something that Michael Patrick King will like. He also supervises the whole thing saying I don’t like this or I don’t like that. So the completed work is a mix between what the writers wants and what he wants.

For every multicam show the creator has the ultimate say, and he’s a writer, too.

I do know that he’ll be credited for writing full episodes from time to time, like last week’s season finale.

One episode that he wrote I wasn’t very happy with. I remember someone in the audience told me “Great job!” and I said “What do you mean? I had no funny lines!”

Maybe that also did not ring well with him… [laughs]

But when it comes to the writers for the most part they’re great. I once told one of them they wrote a great episode and he said “No, no, no. It’s not just me.” They give credit to everyone, never taking credit for the whole thing.

A little earlier I sort of mentioned that the writing doesn’t always land for me, but people really seem to love it-

People love the show in different parts of America. But just a few here [Los Angeles] watch the show, the same in Miami, New York, Chicago, the big cities. Middle America, the majority of America, they love the show. Big towns don’t like it, but small towns love it. In Italy they love the show but it’s the same thing, not much in the big cities.

That’s just my personal opinion, though. The style is over the top and everything. People are a bit more modern in big towns, need to be satisfied by something newer instead of something that’s a bit old fashioned. Now people like Louis, The Comedians, Happyish – reality shows, slower shows that have a different kind of style that’s fashionable now.

I remember Jonathan [Kite] once said “I’ve been on this show for two seasons and it’s only when I travel through towns for work that people recognize me. But in China and some European countries we’re huge!”

At the very least 2 Broke Girls has been popular enough to be renewed for a fifth season.

Reports say that both 2 Broke Girlsand Mike and Molly have been benched until mid-season.CBS is going to start the week, primetime, without a comedy for the first time in decades. Now they’re going in a different direction. There’s a new show with Calista Flockhart, Supergirl. That’s going to take their place in the Monday night timeslot.

I mean, Supergirl is a comic book property which really appears to be the latest trend.

They’re really changing their direction. Although some nights they have eight, nine million viewers, comedies do much worse than dramas now. Dramas have up to ten million viewers. That’s the direction they’re going in, there aren’t that many comedy pilots being picked up anymore-

Personally I’ve noticed less and less new sitcom pilots with each passing fall.

Exactly. It’s a little worrying, because that’s my specialty.

But with 2 Broke Girls it’s benched until mid-season, so it’s probably returning in January. CBS will most likely pick it up for 6 seasons being that the show was sold for syndication to TBS. I believe that at least 6 seasons are needed for a syndication deal.

Michael Patrick King sold it for syndication in the second season.

To go back to your experience on the show, what was it like starring in a three camera sitcom in front of a live audience?

Parks and Recreation – “Sister City” (S2E5)

I had done Parks and Rec, Raising Hope, etc., all single camera shows. My multicam experience at first was a combination of watching them and auditioning for them, and then 2 Broke Girls.

Personally I’m not into multicam. Whenever I get an audition I’m not that excited for it. You have to get a bit character-y, and the blocking is very stiff. It’s not really my thing, I don’t even watch them often. Except Friends and Seinfield … Legends!

And they’re bowing out. The era is over, when there was no Hulu or Netflix. Now when kids want to laugh they’ll go on YouTube, they don’t sit down and watch shows on TV. And they’re the most desired audience for the networks, 16-22. Sadly these shows are a dying breed.

I have very limited experience acting in school productions, but I remember the best part being performing in front of a live audience. What was that like for you?

Fucking amazing. It’s great to do a multicam in front of an audience. Michael Patrick King would make you feel anxious and yell at you, but it was like a party filming the actual show. You felt right away if the audience laughed or didn’t laugh.

On 2 Broke Girls I was always so stressed, though. After the third episode aired I was embarrassed to even come out; I was not as confident. After the second or third they weren’t as excited about me and I could feel it. When an actor feels it that’s bad news because it affects their performance.

Thank God after that I got five amazing episodes with funny shit and I got the audience back. Even though Michael Patrick King ended up cutting Luis out of all of them…

There’s definitely something to be said about instant feedback, especially when it comes to comedies-

When the audience doesn’t laugh, that actually happens all the time. The writers get in front of the audience for 2-3 minutes and Michael Patrick King tells the actors their new lines just once-

Michael Patrick King on set

I remember he came to me and told me my lines. I have English as a second language, I’m not American and it’s not my first language. He comes to me and said it once. I asked if I could get a pen and paper to write it down and he said “What!?” Kat and Beth heard the lines, thank God, and they told me what they were.

They change dialogue all the time and Kat is like a computer. They give her a whole fucking speech one time and the girl knows it all. She’s straight edge, super focused like a computer and just a good person. She helped me out a lot, but I got better, I got used to it.

With lines I would be rehearsing the whole night before, and that was tough on me.

Running over lines is obviously pretty important, but were there any ways you and others would prep before filming?

Jonathan’s preparation was talking! [laughs]

Matthew likes to be in his room with the lights off in total blackness to meditate for a bit. Don Scardino, one of the directors, he’s the best man on earth, so cool and an angel of a man. He takes time to meditate before the show as well.

Beth takes a B12 shot drink. Kat doesn’t need shit she’s straight edge, and with nerves of iron.

Me, the couple of hours before showtime I’m in Jennifer’s room gossiping and smoking cigarettes, it works for us. [laughs]

I just want to address a few last things before our time is up, with one of them being the amount of criticism the show has received, in particular due to racist jokes and writing surrounding Matthew Moy’s character.

There was an Asian group that did not like it at all. Many people hated my character and that was like getting a heart attack before the show. He told me “Who gives a fuck, you don’t know these people, there are always gonna be haters.” By the third season he had already made peace with it. Jennifer Coolidge doesn’t even read the comments, doesn’t even watch the show.

Kat and Beth they read stuff .They’ll retweet what their fans are saying about the show and that sort of thing. Nobody bashes Kat.

Speaking of artists being bashed Max’s latest love interest last season, Nashit, received a lot of flak for having a terrible Irish accent.

A 2 Broke Girls table read.

If they didn’t like him chances are he’ll disappear very soon [and he did. –Evan]. If there are a lot of critics on a guest star from the get-go then he’s not gonna be back for sure. At a table read if a guest star doesn’t do well it’s bad news. They fire people on every episode, you have to give the performance of a lifetime.

The first day’s in front of producers, second in front of the studio, the third the studio network, the fourth to set up blocking, and the fifth for the final shot.

To end with, I know you appeared in some of the same episodes that Eric Andre did. Did you get a chance to interact with him at all, and what’s he like in person?

He actually became one of my very good friends. We hang out at every party he does. He’s a work friend, but a work friend that I see outside of work. He’s another guy that likes having fun like me. And same as me likes to have a friendly family style time on set.

He always had fun with it, made shooting like a party. Michael Patrick King was always going on about focus, that things needed to be serious. He sucks the FUN out of FUN! [laughs]

One of the search terms people use to find my blog is “what happened to Max and Deke [the character Andre played]”. People really loved him on the show-

Of course, but they’re not gonna bring him back.  Michael Patrick King asked him to stay but he was producing his own show on Adult Swim, he went to go do his own thing.

As far as my personal experience on 2 Broke Girls I was actually told from the very beginning what this would all be like. The casting director told me, “Just so you know, it’s a very special set. It’s kind of intense.” If only I had known. [laughs]

I couldn’t and can’t thank Federico Dordei enough for the opportunity to talk to him about 2 Broke Girls, and it’s an amazing way to end another season of the show. He was able to answer a lot of the questions I had about how the show is written in particular and it’s going to be an entirely different experience reviewing future episodes with that knowledge in mind.

Fed [again, I can call him that] hasn’t been sitting back since exiting the show, either, so stay tuned to his iMDB page to see what upcoming projects he has on the horizon!

A lot of the time, when I wish I had implemented a grading system into these reviews when I first started two years ago, it’s because I want to underscore how truly bad an episode was. Not this week. This week I wish that I was able to qualify how good 2 Broke Girls usually is so that I could give “And the Gym and Juice” an A.

And no, this isn’t a particularly groundbreaking twenty-something minutes of situation comedy, but it is exactly what it needs to be, which is to say that it’s funny. Just two episodes into their fifth season and 2 Broke Girls appears confident in allowing its titular characters to truly carry the show, and they do so in a truly admirable fashion. I’m not sure if there was a shake-up in the writers room, but whatever happened it has me generally looking forward to future installments of the show.

The premise this week is a solid one as well, and one that’s a natural fit given the the series’ title. Their shower breaks down one fateful morning, and a glimpse into a room we’ve never seen before [in my recollection] helps cement a point that’s often told  instead of show: these characters aren’t doing so hot financially.

As far as solutions go the option of using the facilities at a gym is simple, but also one ripe with storytelling potential. It may sound like I’m gushing over what appears to be standard television writing, but this is the sort of narrative that I’ve been looking for since things first started. A problem born out of living just above the poverty line prevents itself and steps are taken to solve that. It’s a very simple formula, but one they’ve rarely gone to.

There are a number of twists and turns which involve them landing jobs at the gym, losing said jobs, and eventually getting Oleg to fix their shower, but as mentioned a few paragraphs earlier what’s truly important is how funny the girls make it.

While longtime readers will know that I usually offer the prize of comedic MVP to Beth Behrs, I actually think that Kat Dennings snags the coveted title this time around. Two laugh-out-loud moments in this episode are concerted group efforts, with the first being Caroline’s gagging leading to Max’s gagging and the second, my personal favourite, Max frantically flipping on blenders and even banging pots together in order to drown out her friend’s tirade. On top of that, however, is Max’s freshly showered personality affecting her ability to be surly. Her halfhearted grimaces, meant to be threatening scowls, are slightly off-putting at best, and it’s the sort of performance that reminds me that, yes, she does deserve to be the star of a sitcom. It’s just that oftentimes I don’t think that it’s this one.

Elsewhere Oleg has lowered the age rating of his speech to “G”, and the pains he takes to affirm listeners that know innuendo was intended is handled deftly by Jonathan Kite. Matthew Moy engages in a gag surrounding his inability to get be seen and order anything at the juice bar that could have been better communicated with more customers blocking him, but all in all is acted out well. On almost all fronts the cast appears to be giving it their 120% and it really shows.

As my second paragraph states, this isn’t groundbreaking stuff. At the same time, this week’s 2 Broke Girls isn’t so much “not bad” as it is actually “pretty good”.We can all only hope that whatever’s going on behind the scenes continues and that we can keep seeing these actors do what they do best.

Current Total: $164.

New Total: $264. Max and Caroline work at the juice bar for a little over a day, I think, before being let go. Maybe they given $100 for whatever was done in that time.

The Title Refers To: Han’s gym, Physique Total Body, as well as the juice that’s served there.

Stray Observations:

• “Max, remind me, what separates us from homeless people?” / “We’re not as tan?”
• “Well, well, well, Caroline, I didn’t know it was Bring Your Boyfriend to Work day?”
• Their shower is a place to cry and to hide from their roommate, for Caroline and Max respectively.
• “Well, I have two Friends and Family 1-day passes that I was saving for my parents’ trip. But last month they littered in Korea so they’re in jail.”  This joke would’ve landed with me more if they’d been vacationing in Singapore.
• “Bring me something green, bitch.”
• YBBBB with Brian. Yoga Booty Ballet Boxing and Beyond.
• “And make out with you? Joke. I’m kind of married.”
• The two “old” ladies they face off against bought their trainer a car.
• “Suck it down, baby! But not in a sexual way.”
• “Oh, you’re not the only person who can be threatening. Let me go get my threatening friend.”
• Raquelle, the janitor, has a pretty great line about how the women’s husbands are “silent partners in the gym and in their marriages.”
• Han says “Max, go away, you’re interrupting my flow” while sweating a literal puddle and they don’t make any obvious jokes about it. Weird.
• Having Chestnut gag along with Max and Caroline was the funniest joke they’ve ever pulled off, as far as having a horse on set.

“Eeeaaauuuggghhhhhh.”

• Pop Culture Put-Downs: The Might Be Giants, their genitals in particular.

Now I’m not television executive or anything, but scheduling a sitcom to regularly air on American Thanksgiving seems unwise to me. Then again, the one and only time I’ve ever celebrated the holiday with a family in the US we gorged ourselves in the early afternoon, opening up our evening to whatever we wanted, so what do I know.

On the other hand, maybe some kind of holiday episode was called for? I guess its absence is what happens when CBS’s comedy lineup is in such flux that 2 Broke Girls‘ season premiere is announced just one month before it airs. At the very, very least you’d think that given the title this week would be covering some sort of pregnancy or infant-related incident.

Nope, this week we get the return of Candy Andy. 

The first episode I ever reviewed actually covered Caroline breaking up with her then-boyfriend, played by Ryan Hansen, so nicknamed due to him owning a nearby candy shop. In rereading my rundown of “And the Bear Truth”, however, I found that it didn’t jive with what the show was selling me now.

See, Candy Andy shows up out of the blue engaged to be wed to another woman. This is a big deal in that the two of them appear to be doing quite well, whereas our protagonist are, as the title implies, not in a great place. Caroline is particularly put out about this because she broke up with Andy and the life that he’s now living could be hers.

Except that in my review I wrote:

“Back at the shop, Andy and Carline talk again, and Andy tells her that maybe they should take a break.”

To be perfectly honest, the conflict of being overcome with jealousy, doubt, and a slurry of other emotions over an ex’s new relationship is a great conflict, and one that many of have or will come across in the future. The issue here is that in my recollection he ended the relationship. On top of that, a lot of his success stems from his fiancee Romy being a very successful hat designer. In other words, his new life is not actually one that Caroline would’ve lived had they stayed together.

Anyway, in the awkward fallout of their bumping into one another Caroline tells Andy that she and Max will provide a wedding cake for his upcoming nuptials. It’s this narrative that the entire episode revolves around, but it’s semi-successful due to Caroline’s steady descent into full-on despair and Max’s repetition of “Oh god” when witness to her roommate’s dramatic downward spiral.

She appears to have hit rock bottom when a handsome stoner groomsman appears to come to the rescue, telling both her and Max that Candy Andy can lose the first part of his nickname due to his business going under. The girls rejoice, not due to his entrepreneurial failings, but because it means he lied to them. Which leads to Andy running through a door, admitting that he was embarrassed about that chapter of his life, and then running back out to get hitched. The girls then admit defeat and leave.

While this is all pretty light and easy stuff it is important to note that we’re witness to Max crying for the first time. This is over Andy telling Caroline “I really did love you,” among other things. It’s a moment of emotional vulnerability, for whatever it’s worth, and in this context it appears to be worth a joke with the audience laughing at her “You could have had it all!” It’s played up for comedic value, and while Caroline points out that she’s never seen this before there’s nothing else done with it.

I’m going to be getting one of my features at the end of the review out of the way now and state that the “Maybe Baby” is a fake human infant that Sophie and Oleg are going to be using to test out their parenting skills. Not that I timed it or anything but I don’t think that plot received more than three minutes of screentime. There’s not really that much more to say about it.

Han’s plot, on the other hand, is hopelessly dated due to it referencing the Ice Bucket Challenge. It’s also in close competition with Max and Caroline’s due to Matthew Moy’s exuberant performance in trying to rope George Clooney into a similar viral event.

At the end of the day we have an episode penned by a veteran writer of the series [Michelle Nader penned 15 others] that ignores past continuity with Caroline and Andy’s breakup while seemingly glossing over potentially groundbreaking emotional events with Max crying. On the other hand the performances, if not the jokes themselves, landed well this week. It may not have been good as the last episode, but 2 Broke Girls continues to press on due to its talented cast. Here’s hope they get more to work with.

Current Total: $264.

New Total: $215. Maybe they spent $49 making the wedding cake? I don’t know. As Dustin Payton mentions below in the comments section, the $49 was likely spent on the dress Caroline bought and wore to the wedding.

The Title Refers To: See above review.

Stray Observations:

• You don’t really have to read between the lines to see that Max gets hella racist: “If you really want this thing to go viral I happen to know that Clooney likes him some spicy sriracha.”
• Garrett Morris gets more to do this week than he has in a while, which sadly isn’t saying very much at all.
• How’s the candy business. Sour, nutty, full of nerds?”
• “I. Broke up. With. Him.” / “Dramatic. Talking. Is annoying.”
• “Weren’t you the baby in American Sniper?”

I ended up taking this screenshot because I thought Max and Caroline were staring straight at the camera in decidedly The Office-esque fashion.

• “You see? All bitter- better.”
• “You know, technically it’s not a yacht unless it’s over 40 feet. [pause] Is it? Okay.“
• “Oh god.”
• “Bummer, looks like I’ve gotta do this wedding thing sobes.” Will we be seeing more of you, handsome stoner groomsman?
• “I, Han Lee, nominate Mr. George Clooney to the Williamsburg Diner Challenge of Packing Yourself in a Suitcase! I’m also a fan of The Men Who Stare at Goats!”
• Pop Culture Put-Downs: Amal Amuddin, sort of, and Katherine Heigl.

With “And the Escape Room” 2 Broke Girls continues its penchant for covering topics long after they first rose to relevance. That’s not to say that the concept of escape rooms has faded from the public consciousness [I’ve seen new ones popping up in downtown Toronto], only that they’re not exactly newsworthy anymore.

Having reviewed one such establishment for this blog, and having gone to other vastly better places since, I was actually excited to review this week’s installment of the show, primarily as an actual escape game. Things actually started out pretty well in that regard, too, with the diner staff [this entire scenario is a team-building exercise cooked up by Han, which is not an uncommon event] entering into an almost completely dark room. Over on the wall they see the following:

Oleg didn’t recognize the man in the portrait, surprising no one.

With 26 light switches on the left the gang connect that number to letters in the alphabet. Han surmises that the right one might be “L”, for “light”, but Caroline more accurately suggests that it might be related to the equation Albert Einstein is most well-known for. They flick the fifth switch and the room is bathed in light. As mentioned, a promising start.

Having the entire room be Alice in Wonderland themed is also a great move since it’s a work of fiction that heavily features riddles. It’s unfortunate that the viability of the escape room pretty much ends there. Soon after Randy [former SNL alum John Milhiser, much to my, and likely his, chagrin] pops out dressed up as The Mad Hatter and begins peppering them with brain-teasers.

That’s fine in and of itself, but he doesn’t appear to be offering them any actual hints or anything else. He doesn’t provide them with keys to open chests or combinations to open locks. There are escape games out there that feature a staff member who offers clues, or even someone who dresses up as an active part of the scenario, but it’s always to move things along. Later on Randy points out that they only have 15 minutes left, which is arguably the most helpful he is during their entire game.

As things, as well as their time, start winding down we glimpse one last part of the game-

-with Max guessing that the source of the sentence Han is holding up [“If it was so it might be; and if it were so, it would be.”] is “The fat twins? ‘Cause that made no sense and it looks like they get stoned a lot.” Hilariously I found out that she’s 100% correct. That quote actually is by Tweedledee and Tweedledum, from Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There.

My final comments about the game surround how they end the scenario. Caroline decides that she’s ready to jet and jumps down a rabbit hole as that’s how Alice enters and exits Wonderland herself. It turns out to just be a big ol’ random hole. Which is ridiculous, of course. That ridiculousness is compounded by Randy running to enter an emergency code into the door and not having it work, and look-

The thing about escape rooms is that they all have to adhere to fire safety codes. While the doors ahead of you are typically locked or barred the ones behind you always have to remain open as an emergency escape. Even in the one scenario where I had to get out of a locked cage they provided a way of quickly exiting for safety reasons.

But that’s enough about that.

While “And the Escape Room” fails at actually presenting a believable escape room it does passably in other areas. The primary conflict is a decent one, with Max having overcharged Caroline $25 on the rent for the past four years. On top of that there’s the continuation of Sophie and Oleg trying to have a baby, which gets a fair amount of the spotlight, and the rest of the cast getting some much-needed screentime.

While the two plotlines never really diverge, given Sophie’s participation in their escape room, they do ultimately collide when the amorous couple literally breaks the floor, interrupting our titular characters’ heart-to-heart. It’s all decent stuff with some generally pretty funny moments that I’ll explore further below. I imagine that it’ll work just fine for many, but that anyone who’s actually played an actual escape game themself will have their immersion broken almost immediately.

Current Total: $110.

New Total: $174.35. No clue how this happened. Caroline was given $25 [it was actually just $12] of hush money by Earl to literally hush about Max stiffing her, but there’s a lot more than that here.

The Title Refers To: I shouldn’t have to explain this, it’s about as straightforward as it gets. See the blog post I linked to way up above for a a breakdown on how they actually work.

Stray Observations:

• “Curry in a Hurry” is actually a great name for an Indian takeout place.
• “Wow, we have more visitors than a mildly attractive prostitute at Comic-Con.”
• Caroline is bad at fist bumps in a way that is at least as funny as Baymax botching them in Big Hero 6.

• “Everyone takes a little off the top, look what God did to Han!”
• “No, I have a rule, 20 warnings then it’s a dead issue.”
• “Got me a Choco Taco!” Oh Earl, they finally give you lines but they’re so bad.
• “Caroline C. from here says: ‘Max has been overcharging me $25/month for four years.” / “That sounds made up.”
• “This looks like the room I was kept in when that trucker borrowed me for three days.” I have not missed these thinly veiled rape jokes.
• “Now let me get this straight, y’all are volunteering to be locked up in a tiny room. Now that’s some white people stuff right there.”
• There is this running gag about how Oleg puts his legs in the air to turn lovemaking into babymaking, and they managed to not show it while still skirting around it just enough to make you wonder. Legitimately hilarious stuff.
• “I’m feeling angry, scared, and both of Max’s boobs.”
• The hardcore porn version of Alice in Wonderland that Sophie and Oleg watched was called Alice in Underpants, which I thought was weird because the Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Comedy is an actual porn parody released in theatres that made a whole bunch of money.
• “Y’all know I’m 80, right?”
• I totally got that riddle about Arnold Schwarzenegger having a long one and Michael J. Fox having a short one before Caroline did.
• “It’s that beautiful moment where you and I are gonna make a baby right in front of your coworkers.”
• “Oh, that’s why his leg’s up in the air.”
• Pop Culture Put-Downs: Paula Deen in Dancing With the Stars

Before we get right into the review, I want to spotlight a fact you may not be aware of: there’s a chance 2 Broke Girls may be cancelled. According to the aforelinkedto TV By The Numbers the CBS sitcom has recently received ratings below Mike & Molly, another three camera show from the same network that was axed in 2015.

On the flip side of things, it’s been reported that over in mainland China the show is actually doing quite well. 2 Broke Girls is actually the number one most-searched American TV show on Baidu, the search engine of choice for people living there. Following behind it are such programs that you would expect to top the list, like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones. Unfortunately a Chinese audience is not going to convince CBS to keep the show around, which is why I’m going to start approaching these reviews from a particular angle, specifically: what can 2 Broke Girls do to save itself?

Snag plotlines straight from reddit?

For additional context, and as you’ll see far below in my “The Title Refers To” section, this episode focuses primarily on a dude who has two dicks, or to put it more technically a condition called diphallia. The context of the above paragraph/sentence is that the 8th highest post ever on /r/IAmA, the subreddit where people as high profile as POTUS Barack Obama field questions from internet strangers, is, well-

-a guy with two penises.

Considering that reddit is the 9th most trafficked sited in the States there’s some small chance that someone in the writer’s room saw this thread when it was posted two years ago. But so what? What if 2 Broke Girls based the premise of this episode from something they found on the internet? In general everything is acceptable so long as it’s done well, so the real question should be if they pulled it off or not-

Unfortunately the answer is a resounding “no”. Things start out very promising, with new guy Owen declining the chance to do the horizontal tango with Max due to having to work early in the morning. This is fairly devastating, given that normally she gets what she wants, sex-wise, and things are further complicated when he says he wants them to get to know each other better first. The kicker, though, is his admission that this is due to him being “not regular down there”.

On the big night, and after some mild flirting, Max shares a few choice tidbits about her rough upbringing. Instead of jumping ship, as she expects him to, instead Owen kisses her, says they should skip dinner, and admits that he is a big fan of fire safety. They have sex and she sees his two penises.

The real issue comes about when Max tells Caroline the next day, which in turn leads to everyone else finding out as well. They react predictably, up until Caroline actually responds with “Max, you can’t be serious” after hearing that her friend really likes Owen. Is his condition honestly supposed to be some kind of dealbreaker? It comes so far out of left field that [continue baseball analogy here]. Then there’s Owen’s understandable, though never plainly stated, betrayal at having his secret made public. Following that up is Max being relatively sad, which feels awkward due to the little we’ve seen of him and their relationship.

Don’t wory, double fisting whipped cream canisters can solve any problem.

That chain of events in general isn’t bad, and is in fact a sitcom staple, but the actual execution is botched because the stakes are so low. We don’t actually care about Owen or his relationship with Max enough to want it to stick around. On that same note, we’re not disgusted enough by Owen and his diphallia to side with Caroline and get why she doesn’t want them together. There were some pretty choice puns dropped about having two dicks, but those puns need to be able to coexist with a strong narrative.

I actually went into this thinking that Sophie and Oleg would receive more of a focus this episode, especially since [and again, I mention this below] I assumed the title was in reference to her ovaries and such. Unfortunately their arc feels tacked on, with Sophie being afraid of the gynaecologist, or more accurately the potential reveal that their problems with childbirth stem from her womb and not Oleg’s testicles. This is another go-to for sitcoms [see: Scrubs‘ “My Own Personal Hell”], with a strong foundation of anxieties built on respective virility/fertility issues, but it’s never given quite enough time to really develop into anything significant. Come the end of the episode we find out that pregnancy is a in fact a possibility for the couple, any small present conflict immediately solved.

I certainly don’t have any issue with 2 Broke Girls trawling reddit, tumblr, or even 4chan for material, but if their comedic mechanics are so poor that they can’t adequately handle a simple shared-secret-ends-relationship storyline then things are looking grim. To offset that, however, is the fact that the cast continues to excel at physical comedy, and somehow manage to act better as an ensemble with each and every passing episode. There are bright spots for sure, but the problem spots needs to be addressed if the show doesn’t want to go the way of one of CBS’ last three camera sitcoms.

Current Total: $174.35

New Total: $140.00. Where hast thou gone, $34.35? Was Max’s pay docked due to her smuggling out bologna? We’ll never know.

The Title Refers To: Owen’s diphallia and not, as the promo pictures let on, Sophie’s reproductive organs.

Stray Observations:

• As evidence of the cast’s strength when it comes to physical comedy, the cold open had two great moments with: Han attempting to give Max a pat down-

• -and Oleg catching the bologna from Han  and just flinging it back into the kitchen.
• Caroline gives birth to a roll of toilet paper. At least it wasn’t another fish this time.
• She’s also caught by Max and Owen uncontrollably spraying white cream everywhere while frantically closing a laptop and no one says anything about it. This is the most restraint the show has ever shown in its entire runtime and it shocked me to my core.
• “Geez, one guy doesn’t wanna sleep with you and you’re sweatin’ to the oldies?”
• I was really impressed by Max drawing pictures of penises on camera, but angling the paper just enough so that censors couldn’t bust them for it.
• “Could be anything, in Moscow I saw this amazing penis freak show, ‘Ripleyovich Belive it or Nyet.'”
• Caroline’s options as to what Owen’s “down there” could look like: gnarly, wonky, truly haunting.
• “What if it’s not Oleg’s swimmers . . . what if it’s my pool?”
• “I wish I could afford Scruples, this is ‘Scrumples.'” My favourite joke of the entire night.
• “You too- I mean one!“
• “The only case in which two dongs make a right.”
• “Well Max, I guess he’s not the one, ‘cause he’s the two“
• Pop Culture Put-Downs: Not much here, either. Time to find a new feature?

Honestly, it’s been so long since the show has referenced the fact that Caroline Channing is a formerly wealthy heiress that it’s weird to think about how classism was once the foundation the show was built on. Now obviously the premise of the show is found in its title, a pair of young women struggling through near-poverty, but the first season really capitalized on one of the two leads having been filthy rich.

That also means that it’s been a very, very, very long time since 2 Broke Girls has decided to retread the plotline of Caroline ending an episode with a realization about her new life being, in some ways, far superior to her old one. Until this week, that is.

Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t offer up anything new and potentially exciting. See, it’s Caroline’s grandmother Astrid [played by Judith Roberts, who you may remember as one of the elderly cons on Orange is the New Black] who has just come out of a coma, and consequently going to have a coming out party to celebrate. Sorry, anyone hoping for an LGBT-centred storyline, it’s a deceptively-titled episode. Could I maybe direct you to last year’s “And the Inside Out Situation”?

The twist, because there has to be one, is that Grammy Channing doesn’t actually know about her son’s misdeeds and consequent incarceration and loss of wealth [her nearly finding out is what resulted in her coma to begin with]. Caroline is instructed to orchestrate the luncheon without her grandmother finding out about this horrific event.

Now before we get into the Big Character Moment™ that I promised she would experience at the climax of this episode, I want to discuss how the show’s approach to Astrid Channing can be telegraphed by its direction lately. No one who’s been watching Season 5 of 2 Broke Girls can honestly say that it’s preoccupied with the titular characters making money, and in fact the “New Total” shown at the end of each episode means little to nothing at all. It’s for this reason that we never really see Caroline’s grandmother as a possible solution to their poverty, or expect Max to be met with anything but the mildest disappointment [she barely reacts] when finding out that the old lady is likewise broke.

I also want to ask, since I honestly don’t know the answer, why Caroline’s Grammy has no money. I don’t see how her son’s actions could’ve affected her fortune at all. It also doesn’t explain why Bernard, her butler, stuck around since he can’t possibly be paid nothing. I’m sure he wasn’t viewing exclusive access to her very expensive creams as adequate payment for his services. Why is he around at all? Later in the episode he bemoans looking for a new job at Chipotle, but hasn’t he been unemployed this entire time?

There are so many questions I want to pose to the writers’ room, you guys.

Back to where we left off, Caroline’s moment is so big that she actually delivers an entire speech to her grandmother after being told to stop picking up bits of crystal off the floor since she is “not help”:

“Grammy, you may have been a coma but I feel like it’s me that just woke up. For the past five years I have really been missing all of this. But it’s not good crystal that makes a life, it’s good people. People like them. And they are not ‘the help’, but they did come here to help me. ‘Cause you and I may be related but these people are my family now. And also I should tell you: I don’t work on Wall Street. I work in Brooklyn, in a diner. See, I’m a waitress.”

It’s a lot. It’s a lot and it feels mostly unfounded since Astrid Channing is not terrible to the staff [the diner gang having been coerced into helping out]. She’s not even terribly racist, having nothing to say about Earl as the sommelier and only accusing Han of being Chinese instead of Korean. When she says earlier that Caroline being friends with the help it doesn’t feel nasty or even condescending, more like stating a fact.

But Caroline drops this bomb on her grandmother regardless, shattering the old woman’s dreams that her granddaughter has actually leveraged her Wharton business degree into a successful career in business. Then Gertrude [the only friend still alive to attend the coming out party] further explains that Astrid has no money and the shock kills her. It’s the first fatality we’ve seen with our own eyes on 2 Broke Girls, as far as I can remember.

As with most episodes this season, and the one that came before it as well, this episode is peppered with some legitimately funny moments. The issue is, as with this show’s entire running existence, they exist around a shaky narrative framework. Seven episodes in and we’re still not sure exactly what Max and Caroline are working towards, and at this point the only continuing storyline to latch onto is Sophie and Oleg’s attempts to have a baby. When your secondary characters are the ones whose hopes and problems continue from one episode to the next you have a problem.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE: The 2 Broke Girls writers’ room cares so little about the “Current Total” and “New Total” at the end of this show that they literally aired the exact same numbers as the last episode. The former was $174.35 and the latter $140.00. I’m honestly shocked at the carelessness, because it’s like they’re barely even trying to justify the feature anymore.

The Title Refers To: Please see the third paragraph far up above.

Stray Observations:

• Max hacked into Han’s Amazon account. The password: “Han Solo”
• The passwords he comes up with afterwards: “Han Golden Pond”, “Han-ah Montana”, “Straight Outta Compt-Han”
• Caroline’s grandmother didn’t shun her, “she was just practically dead!”
• “You know I exclusively shop at TJ Max. They’ve been helping me spring into summer for years!”
• “Crack a window it smells like ASS-trid in here.”
• SO many old people jokes.
• “Maria, was it? I’ll take a tall glass of agua, por favor!”
• Max and Caroline are so poor they drink “Milk Drink™”.
• There’s a fun gag about how Han and Sophie are lending out their gross roleplaying sex outfits to their friends to dress up as staff, but it’s not his as hard as it could’ve been.
• There’s a moment where Grammy says: “On top, I like it up on top” [in reference to her hair] and Max responds with “Whoa”-

• -and Dennings actually has to pause to make time for all the raucous laughter that erupt before finishing her line, “Whoa, grammy, keep it PG”
• Sophie puts on accents this episode and it’s the most fun she’s been in a really, really long time. I actually wanted more of it. The line that slayed me: “Pardon me, could you direct me to your . . . Jonathan?”
• The episode ends with Han giving everyone a raise after seeing what staff have to put up with, which is nonsensical because if anything he endures more than absolutely anyone else in the diner on a daily basis.

I’m gonna start by reminding all of you nice people that this show’s creators were paying so little attention to last week’s episode that they didn’t even bother changing the “Current Total” or the “New Total”, features that were once the entire crux of 2 Broke Girls. Once upon a time this show was all about Max and Caroline saving up for something big, and it’s very telling that this once important detail was recently overlooked.

As for this week, well, it’s another one of those episodes. And by “those episodes” I mean that not a lot happens. I was going to add more to that description, but it says it all. At this point the overarching narrative of the season appears to be Sophie and Oleg’s efforts to have a child together, and to that effect they take a significant step forward while the titular characters just live their lives as usual.

This episode focuses somewhat on one of the primary differences between Max and Caroline: the latter’s determination to achieve success with their business and the former’s seeming indifference to that goal. It also features what looks like product placement by Periscope.

All I really know about Periscope is that JP Lambiase of YouTube channel HellthyJunkFood® uses it as a way of getting content to his followers. It appears to be some kind of livestreaming service that people can use on their mobile devices [I didn’t do any more research beyond snagging the image above off of Google], and Caroline is all about using that to strengthen the social media presence of Max’s Homemade Cupcakes.

At this point I have to actively fight the temptation not to simply list out the events of this episode in bullet form. To really boil it down, though, Oleg’s cousin Gortek is in town as he’s signed on to play pro basketball. As a quick side note, Max quips that she thinks her wallet is made out of that stuff. People laughed, but they were all thinking of one thing and one thing only:

Initially Caroline wants to go to some sort of fair or something to promote their business, but ends up going to the game with Max instead. They’re up in the nosebleeds but end up sneaking their way down to the VIP section and passing off popcorn-covered tickets to an usher to get away with it. Caroline Periscopes their experience, inadvertently causing Max to spill beer on the floor. The beer on the court causes players to slip and fall. The girls run away and hide in the locker room. Somehow the guys pouring ice into the tub they’re sitting in don’t see them until they are wet and screaming-

Their definition of “scary cold”.

-and that’s pretty much it.

Oleg’s cousin isn’t so much a character as he is simply a means for the two girls to get the basketball tickets; he doesn’t even really reappear at the game. Max considers inviting Earl, letting her friend and roommate attend the event to do some PR for them, but that’s nixed in a wonderful bit of comedy I’ll mention below. The biggest consequence the girls even face is that they get cold and wet, which, given their shower situation back at the apartment, shouldn’t be a big deal.

On the flipside our favourite Eastern European couple [on 2 Broke Girls] has a little more of an interesting plot as Sophie is planning on selecting the perfect genes for their shared progeny. There are a few gags, with a handful of lines made at the expense of Anne Hathaway’s forehead, but ultimately it all culminates in the last few minutes with Sophie saying that she’s given up on the endeavour. As long as she has a “healthy, happy baby” she’ll be fine. It’s some significant maturation for her, and it’s odd that she gets so much character development when the show’s two leads get . . . well . . . nothing.

As usual my favourite bits of comedy are in the Stray Observations below [amid other lines I considered notable for whatever reason], and there are some pretty great moments. They’re still not enough to buoy a flagging show, however. It remains to be seen where Michael Patrick King and co. are taking us, and when this vehicle is going to start picking up speed.

Current Total: $197.

New Total: $280. I want to note here one more time that last week’s episode left the New Total at $140.00, unchanged from the episode before. They appear to have amended this error. As usual, I have no idea why this amount increased.

The Title Refers To: I initially thought that Earl’s surname might be “Jones” and that he would be playing a much larger part in this episode, but I was wrong. I can’t for the life of me recall a single mention of the name, so this feature is coming up with a big question mark this time around.

Stray Observations:

• Han [after having left Early in charge]: “I’ll be gone for . . twenty.” / Earl: “Speaking of 4/20, Max, do you wanna smoke some weed?”
• Caroline has to tell Max that “PR” stands for “public relations” and not “Puerto Rican.”
• “Your cousin’s in town? That’s weird, I didn’t get an alert on my phone.”
• Earl quips to Gortek- “You look familiar. Didn’t you brave a dragon on Game of Thrones?” -which is strange since confusing him with The Mountain would have been so much better.
• I’m sure it’s been done before, but Oleg and Gortek speaking to each other in Ukrainian about Han, interspersing English words like “jackass boss” and “virgin” is actually incredibly funny. Well done, too.
• “No, you know, I’m sorry; I’m out. Tonight I have to genetically modify a person while I watch The Good Wife.”
• Caroline: “Would it hurt you to ask me to go to the game? You know I’m not going to say yes.” / Max: Do you want to go to the game-“

“YES.”

• “My father got me front row seats in the Inability to Love Awards,” a line met with equal parts laughter and awws.
• “Max, our seats are in a shantytown. I think someone tried to sell me a hubcap on the way up the stairs.”
• “Max, I haven’t been called a rich pig in five years!”
• “Ooh, here comes the nanny.” “Fran Drescher’s here!?“
• “Oh. My. God. This is where the 17th team in the league gets naked!”
• “Oh, you two sick? Stay away from me, I can’t get sick. When you’re 78 it takes about two days to go from sniffles to getting eaten by your cat.”
• Sophie’s tongueless aunt: “Do det what do det and do don’t det updet.”

Let me start by saying that it’s about time. I’m not sure how many 2 Broke Girls viewers realize this, but Garrett Morris was an original SNL cast member. With that in mind it’s almost shocking how little the show has decided to do with Earl. On a typical episode I can count all of his lines on one hand, and by the time the twenty-something minutes are up I still have a few fingers left over.

“The Sax Problem” that’s of concern this week is strictly Earl’s, and in much the same way Sophie and Oleg got the most character development in “And the Basketball Jones” last Wednesday he takes centre stage [no pun intended]. Given how often Morris has been relegated to the sidelines I was actually apprehensive about how he would do being given so much heavy lifting, but I never should have doubted him.

There are a few cracks made here and there about Earl’s age, which is pretty par for the course, but for once he’s not just an extremely old father figure of Max’s. It’s revealed that he used to be a part of a jazz band, The Early Birds, and that they’re going to be playing an anniversary show at a bar called Ruby’s. The first conflict and complication is the titular owner of said establishment, who didn’t invite him due to his having cheated on her with her sister.

Max and Caroline are able to talk Ruby down pretty effortlessly, and also solve the next problem: his not owning a saxophone. It’s the third issue that they appear to handle, but that is in fact 100% Earl.

Somewhat understandable for a man who hasn’t played a show in decades, he gets stage fright. Mores specifically, his performance anxiety stems from the fact that he used to perform high, and he hasn’t hit the hard stuff [heroin, in this case] in 30 years. Soon after this harsh realization dawns on him he escapes to the bathroom where he camps out for, as far as the show tells us, an uncomfortable amount of time.

While it’s Caroline stalling that inevitably brings him up on stage, what the show glosses over [apart from an offhand remark] is that the decision not to shoot up smack is entirely his own. Sure, the girls do their best to check up on him, but they never tell him to stay away from the junk. He returns from his conspicuous absence completely sober. Ultimately this episode nestles the story of one man’s commitment to staying clean within the confines of a TV show that leans pretty heavily on the comedy of a White girl scatting. Considering the material that he’s given Morris gives his performance 110%, and hopefully this is a sign of much more to come.

The tale of Sophie and Oleg’s struggle to conceive chugs steadily along, with fertility drugs being their latest effort to get a bun in her oven. A syringe of the stuff appears to be the show’s motivation for showcasing that route, with the prop obviously being mistaken for heroin. I should probably take the time to mention that this is some pretty dark subject matter, all things considering. Weed jokes get thrown around a lot, by Earl in particular, but actually quipping about heroin with a syringe on screen can get uncomfortable.

Lastly, and possibly leastly, near the end of the episode Caroline tells Max that she’s beginning to feel like she’ll never get the chance to do what she’s best at. While it’s always good to be reminded of their dream deferred, it’s also a reminder that we haven’t seen them work on that in weeks. They can talk about what they hope for all they want, but it would be nice to see them actually do something about it.

Current Total: $280.

New Total: $80. I’m actually pretty thrilled that there’s an obvious reason for the subtraction this time around. The $200 obviously went towards the “cheap sax” that Max found for Earl.

The Title Refers To: Earl’s problems regarding playing his saxophone sober in front of an audience.

Stray Observations:

• To start on an extremely high note, this is one of the best cold opens they’ve ever done. Caroline delivers a very special dessert [to the wrong couple] and Beth Behrs plays it extremely well-

• -that being said, these Stray Observations are like 80% pretty decent lines.
• “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I know I said I was cool with waiting but I wasn’t cool with it!“
• Max and Earl’s joint suicide pact: they smoke a joint and then kill themselves
• “Look out PTA meetings! I’ll bring the ‘P’, she’ll bring the ‘T&A.'”
• “Ah, this is a little awkward. But Sophie, I was unaware I’d be injecting your badonkadonk.”
• “Now there’s a heartwarming tableau that Norman Rockwell somehow missed.”
• “You always go straight to dead, Max. But thanks for sending the paramedic, I needed help finding my Apple TV remote.”
• “I just have to ask, you do think we’re going to get out of here one day?” / “Oh sure. In body bags.”
• Particularly notable: Jackée Harry’s Ruby is the only character besides Sophie to receive “whoos” upon entering a scene.
• “There’s only one old woman who scares me and his name is Steven Tyler.”
• “Hold my hoops!”
• “Earl, you played with Ella Fitzgerald?” / “It’s possible. Or else I talked to that picture. I did a lot of drugs.”
• “You know when someone else says something stupid but you’re embarrassed?” Too meta for me, Oleg.
• “Dammit, have I been living on the subway a-gain?”
• Beth Behrs does a pretty good rendition of “God Bless the Child”, but Garrett Morris doesn’t fake playing the saxophone very well for someone who studied at Juilliard.

Look, friendship is hard. I know that as well as anyone. In spite of the interconnectedness that allows you to read these words I’m penning in my North York basement apartment from anywhere in the world, the fact is that many of my peers find it hard to create meaningful relationships [just type “millennial” alongside some iteration of “lonely” into Google and see what comes up]. With that in mind it’s nice to see an episode focus on a problem so many people struggle with.

In particular the issue of starting friendships from scratch, in your twenties, is a daunting one. Compared to the kids you went to college with how strong is your foundation, really? It’s a question Caroline asks herself when Becky White [Diona Reasonover], a girl from Max’s past, arrives at the window to their cupcake store.Things get predictably more complicated when Becky invites Max out to drinks, pointedly ignoring Caroline, and Max skips out without much thought to her roommate. It’s uncomfortably real world for 2 Broke Girls, and many of us can empathize with feeling like you’re on the outside looking in.

To continue focusing on what I think is the strongest aspect of this episode, Caroline then attempts, out of very apparent jealousy, to make her own friends. What’s unfortunate is that her search is cut painfully short, with her jump straight into chummying up to patrons of the diner paying off almost immediately.

Honestly, I should’ve guessed that her falling in so quickly with Rachael and Cathy [Kathy?] was evidence that she was in fact being groomed to join a cult. I mean, the header image I put together showcases an extremely cult-like gathering. And really, while the entire plot surrounding Caroline and Max resisting indoctrination into an unnamed sect is amusing, it’s nowhere near as compelling as what I had just been discussing.

Yes, Mo Gaffney’s maternal cult leader Elaine is suitably off-putting, especially in how the audience appears to be just as enamoured with her as her followers [see the Stray Observations below], but her group is just a little too generically creepy. When it’s revealed that everyone at the mountain retreat they’ve gone to will more or less be required to have sex with her the entire thing becomes a wash. There’s a more engaging narrative out there where Caroline is actually tempted to join a cult and be a part of something bigger and greater, pushed away by a perceived betrayal on Max’s part, but that can’t be found anywhere here.

When the two girls are ultimately rescued by Oleg and Sophie, who Max texted to rescue them if anything went wrong, it’s just after an emotional beat that feels slightly unearned due to the diversion with the cult. To be fair it may lead to more potential conflict between the two, since Caroline’s question-

“Max, are you and I going to be like you and Becky one day?”

-and admission of-

“Am I going to be some waitress you used to know, because that would kill me.”

-are essentially pushed aside when the Eastern European couple drives up to them. Again, the insecurity and anxiety felt in platonic relationships hasn’t been nearly as explored as it could be, and they missed the chance to really delve into that. Chances are that with Becky’s one-off appearance here it’ll be some time before this particular facet of their friendship can be explored, but you never know. Here’s hoping.

Current Total: $80.

New Total: $80. So when Max and Caroline decided to leave Elaine tells them that only “friends” enjoy the free trip, and they will thus be charged. This sounds like a very real thing that happens to me, and in the end they escape after Max offers her body as “nature’s credit card”, only to be refused in disgust. It was a definite opportunity to tap back into their being, well, “2 Broke Girls”, debt and all. As it stands they neither earned or lost anything in this episode.

The Title Refers To: No new friends for Max or Caroline.

Stray Observations:

• The cold open this week was all about smart phones and the disconnect they can create, which is a fun tangential connection to the topic of friendship. It did make me wonder how Max and Caroline could afford smartphones, though.
• “Now you have one? Earl- three months ago you thought T-Mobil was a rapper.”
• “Max, I did not think you would still be alive. I owe you $10.”
• Max typically introduces Caroline as Taylor Swift’s slower cousin Randy.
• “Nice meeting you Brandy-” / “It’s Randy!”
• “So did you guys have fun tonight, or did you two grow apart-“
• “Fun, it’s so fun that you had fun.”
• “Guess what I’m doing?” / “Motivating me to look at resumes on Monster.com?”
• “Max, how’s this for my friend-making smile?” / “Do you have more teeth than me?”
• “The Yelp review specifically said I would be ignored by the wait staff.”
• “I’ve seen people with podcasts less desperate for approval.”
• “Yeah, the last invitation we got was to audition for porn.”
• So Elaine was dropping lines like-

“I’m so glad you all could make it. Oh, except Jerry. He’s getting Lasik. He should’ve listened, I told him to eat more kale. Kale is good for the eyes!”

• -and the audience was eating it up. It was really bizarre, but helped play up the idea that she was a charismatic person who could draw people to her.
• “Everyone gather round. Let’s have some mutual eye contact.”
• Elaine’s cult’s mantra: “My best is my best and that’s why I”m blessed.”
• Lady Marmalade is a dog with both seasonal depression and fibromyalgia.
• “And do not fear, before the night is over each of you will have the chance to make love with me.”
• “Ah, I’m sorry it took me so long to climax. I know I was ‘almost there’ for quite some time.”
• Max ate $700 worth of shrimp. Surprising no one, least of all her.
• Sophie was once in a cult called “Avon”.

Next week 2 Broke Girls makes its way to Thursday to join CBS ratings juggernaut The Big Bang Theory, which actually segues really well into a lot of what this review is covering. See, while the latter has absolutely killed it for the network it’s also received a fair amount of flak, primarily from the types of people it claims to represent. General nerd news site Bleeding Cool referred to it as “the television show that hates you” back in 2011 and hasn’t stopped since, and I actually took time on this very blog to cover an episode that featured some particularly divisive promos.

All of that is to say that CBS as a network doesn’t have a stellar track record when it comes to appealing to what I’m going to call “nerds” from this point on [Supergirl not withstanding, which I’ve only heard excellent things about]. Couple that with 2 Broke Girls not having a stellar track record with most topics and we find ourselves here, tonight, with me dreading every second leading up to this episode, tempered by a bizarre sense of excitement.

It turns out I hated it.

As I had feared all along, this episode paints nerds with a brush wide enough to be a roller, with Han’s friend Ned’s [Dominic Burgess] first lines being “You know my name?”, followed by a rapid pull on his inhaler.

That’s followed up by Han being hounded by Eunice, his “Super Nintend-ho”, who fell for him hard after he saved her from a burning building and proposed to her [in-game, of course]. While viewers may initially think that the diner owner is going to get lucky with yet another conventionally unattractive woman [see: “And the Kilt Trip”] this time around his disinterest in, bordering on outright fear of, her is what’s played for laughs.

My latter two gripes are vastly more personal, with the first being that Sophie and Oleg need to move into Max and Caroline’s due to ongoing renovations in their shared apartment. This is seen as a difficulty, and it’s upsetting to me because, well, I’m poor. Not that I’m working in food service or anything, but I’ve literally never lived in a space even half as large as their studio apartment in my adult life. Like, I get that it has to be a little bigger due to the restrictions of the three-camera sitcom format, recording live, but it’s massive. Hearing about all of the things “doing better than old Caroline” [Sophie’s unborn child included] is just rich [pun 100% intended] from someone who lives in a living space with a full kitchen and a horse.

The last one is that Max being the face of Ned’s video game, Death Bitch, feels altogether too similar Chloe being the basis of Shitagi Nashi, a Japanese comic book that translates to Tall Slut No Panties–

-and honestly any reference to the vastly superior Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23 is always going to raise my sodium to dangerous levels. I began another review of 2 Broke Girls listing all of the similarities between the two shows [the relationship between Max and Caroline and Chloe and June were shockingly similar when first starting out] and am still not over the Don’t Trust the B—-‘s cancellation back in 2013. I’m not sure I ever will be.

So, yeah. I wasn’t a huge fan of the show this week.

In general, deriding nerds is always an ugly thing to watch, and at this point feels incredibly dated. Not to say that there’s a broad acceptance of everyone who falls underneath that particular banner, but the increasing popularity of comic book movies, among other things, is proof that things have changed a lot since Revenge of the Nerds. To the point where Max’s admission that she wants to attend GamesCon because she’s “really into video games” and “[has] known since [was] was ten” doesn’t feel shocking, or even surprising. I mean, both that and getting free swag.

Having Max and Caroline get into GameCon by working as booth babes brings up a very real, very uncomfortable aspect of an industry that appears to cater [at least with their flashier events and announcements] almost exclusively to men. Unfortunately that, or Death Bitch itself, isn’t used as a springboard to explore sexism in gaming, although it does lead to one of a handful of moments that I legitimately liked:

Beth Behr’s physical comedy can’t save every episode, but it is consistently delightful.

The big conflict, if that’s what you want to call it, is Ned basing Death Bitch’s Immorta on Max’s likeness, and the legal recourse that results from her not giving her permission. Of course, it is brought up by studio owner Tony [Bryan Callen] that she can’t afford a lawyer, which I suppose is true. Ultimately the eponymous duo [Yak Girl was based on Caroline] haggle their way into a gig dressing up as their respective characters and taking pictures with their adoring fans.

Cue my next favourite moment[s] from this trainwreck of an episode:

Honestly, I was almost hoping we wouldn’t see it because I was thinking about drawing fan art of what Yak Girl might actually look like.

That Yak Girl costume is the best thing that the 2 Broke Girls department have ever created, and probably will ever create.

After Caroline fends off the Han-gry [see, I can make bad jokes too] Eunice and ends up breaking off her hindquarters the episode ends, more or less. It’s never really explained if they continued with what they were doing, though it is implied that they were fired. It’s also never explained if the ostensibly successful Death Bitch will have any further effect on either of their lives [it’s far more likely than something more niche like a Japanese comic]. No, this episode wraps up with not much more gained than a cardboard cutout of Immorta that, if permanently added to the girls’ apartment or the Williamsburg Dinner, will be the most significant evidence that this show actually progresses from week to week.

Current Total: $80.

New Total: $380. Max and Caroline also bargained for Tony to give them each an iPad, which Forbes tells me in an article from 2014 is $249 at the cheapest. I would chalk the extra three Benjamins to them doing their actual booth babe work, but that also feels iffy given how they magically acquired their uniforms [slutty boots and a very small black dress, the latter of which leads to an A+ back and forth between the two girls].

The Title Refers To: Booth babes, defined by the Geek Feminism wiki as “is a “women (mostly women, with the occasional exception) employed by brands to staff booths at trade shows,” which is what Max and Caroline were for at least a little while.

Stray Observations:

• In Earl’s day they didn’t play video games, opting to drop acid and visit the aquarium to visit other worlds.
• “Do you think I should shave my back for tomorrow for GameCon?”
• “We just have to wear these dressers, look hot, and hand out some flyers. Like a sexy Jehovah’s Witness.”
• “This dress sets women back further than HBO’s Ballers.”
• Han has dubbed his gamer crew his “Han-tourage”.
• GamesCom is sponsored by Virgin. Ha ha ha.
• “If this guy’s having a release party it’s probably into an old sock.”
• “All she’s doing is drinking from a flask and punching people in the face!” If I hadn’t given up video games for Lent [happy Ash Wednesday, everyone!] I would totally be down to play Death Bitch.
• I loved Yak Girl so much she gets a shout-out down here as well.
• Between of the the nerds having some sort of congenital defect, which appeared to be laugh fodder, and Eunice saying that she “convinced [her] sister to sign [her] out this weekend” this is a particularly disgusting episode, writing-wise.
• “This is gonna make that girl I’m catfishing real jealous.”
• “That wasn’t sex you were having in front of us?” Caroline is shocked, but honestly I’m more curious than anything else.

Midway through its fifth season and 2 Broke Girls has finally done it; Max and Caroline, and consequently the show itself, now have a brand new direction. Ever since Season 4 ended with them remembering their dream of owning and running their own cupcake business things have been pretty shaky, narratively. For the most part the two girls have just been killing time, not even really trying to make any extra money.

The best part about the apparent arc they’re going to be starting on come next week’s episode is how far out of left field it is. It doesn’t have anything to do with raising a certain amount of money and isn’t connected to their cupcake business at all. No, this is a fresh, surprising take, and one I’ll get to after I go through the usual recap.

Just this past month I saw through Facebook that a friend of mine was attending an event called “Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids Toronto” which is, after further research, exactly what it sounds like. Upon mentioning it to yet another friend they recommended the documentary Mortified Nation [which you can find on Netflix] which is essentially the same thing on a much larger scale. It was the first I had ever heard about this deeply personal form of entertainment, though to be fair I haven’t heard of most things.

Mortified Nation came out in 2013, so it’s no real surprise that 2 Broke Girls began to tap into this particular brand of live performance [especially taking into consideration how long it took them to cover escape rooms]. That being said, it actually leads to some of the most entertaining moments of this episode.

It all begins with Caroline being asked out to see a “storytelling show” where men and women share their childhood experiences to an audience. Her date, Adam [Miles Fisher] is the first performer we get to see, and he is, well-

“Rachel Mooney, a popular girl, pulled down my pants. That’s right, I got dance-pantsed!”

-he’s bad and he should feel bad. Max ends up tagging along, which sets the two of them back $40. When Adam ends up flaking on the rest of their date, ostensibly only asking her out to put more bodies in seats for his part of the show, Max begins recounting how much more terrible Caroline’s life is when the emcee tunes in and asks that she share her life story.

It’s $50, so of course they spring for it.

After the woman before her wraps up her story-

“And, after it was all said and done, I looked at my vagina. And my vagina looked at me. And we shared a knowing glance. It was as if she was giving me permission to tell her story.”

-while also allowing us a beautiful panning shot that exhibits the entire cast’s reactions, it’s time for Caroline to take the stage. It’s here where the extremely small conflict presents itself. Due to the young Ms. Channing living such a truly horrific life [it’s not that bad, but anyway] her story is a gigantic bummer. Max helps her lighten the whole piece by interspersing jokes, and standing behind the mic Caroline has to decided whether or not to include them.

There’s a brief moment, pre-cringe, when you think she’s actually going to use her roommate’s material, but thankfully it never happens. While her attempting comedy and ultimately bombing this show may have had more entertainment value, 2 Broke Girls ultimately opts for a more sincere and genuinely touching moment, which is actually a move I can’t fault them for. The writers’ room has gotten a lot of comedic mileage out of Beth Behrs’ ability to botch anything to great effect, but here they allow Caroline to have a win for once.

I’m also never going to complain anytime Max gets shushed.

While it’s expected that the live audience be moved by her tale, the rest of the cast is likewise impressed. Not only that, but so is Nina Spiegel, a studio exec for Warner Bros. who believes that her story could actually become a feature length film.

Max helping Caroline with her story, and perhaps even wanting to be a part of her performance, never ends up being addressed well. That said, when Caroline is to be flown out to Hollywood in first class she trades in her ticket for two in coach, asking her best friend to join her. Just because they couldn’t tell a story together doesn’t mean that they’re not going to try to keep moving through life side by side. It’s a really exciting turn of events, and even if the end up back in the Williamsburg Diner by the end of next week’s episode they’ll still have been offered another opportunity at success. Things will have changed for them, and will hopefully affect the rest of this season.

As for Sophie and Oleg, due to not being able to conceive [not for lack of trying] and failing to find a suitable surrogate mother for a paltry $200, they’ve decided to adopt. It’s been legitimately interesting watching their attempts to become parents, and having them turn to this option is another pleasant surprise.

Current Total: $380.

New Total: $390. $40 for both of them at their first show, with Caroline earning $50 for her performance, accounts for the $10 bump. What it doesn’t take into account, however, are the drinks they had. Though maybe those were included with the price of entry, which I sort of doubt given the kind of gig it was.

The Title Refers To: Storytelling shows. They’re all the rage now, really.

Stray Observations:

• I don’t for a second believe that Max has never hit a kid.
• Earl has his own methods when it comes to refusing to donate to charity: “I’m sorry, I have diabetes. And I’m not stupid. Move it along.”
• Caroline on “dry shopping”: “Why not buy one Apple Watch when I can not buy two?”
• “My mom drank so much with me inside that I was born wearing a shirt saying ‘It’s Five O’Clock somewhere.'”
• “Can we all just admit that vaping is smoking!?”
• “You live our stories that we live to hear.” Yeah, everything about the show just oozes with cheese.
• “Well I know that I’m entitled to my truths, and how my truths make me feel.” Just the kind of postmodern thinking that my co-writer Gordon loathes so much.
• The emcee works for Avis at his day job: “Remember, you have a story to tell. And sometimes renting a car is cheaper than a long-term lease.”
• Han really thought that his appearance on the Brooklyn Small Business podcast had paid off in a big way.
• “Sorry, I was watching a YouTube video on how to make spaghetti. Boy, I was way off.” Favourite line of the night.
• “Pregnant 12 times? It must be like saloon doors down there.”
• “Which one says, ‘Just because I’m at my bottom doesn’t mean I can’t wear a nice top’?”
• “You don’t forget the day that you lose yourself.”
• “Caroline, I know you said you never would, but you touched me.”
• “I think sometimes people like to be sad. That’s why there’s Adele.” If Max had just watched Inside Out she would’ve known this.
• “The Caroline Channing story deserves to live on the big screen for 1-2 weeks. Then on-demand for eternity.”
• Oleg makes Sophie consolation gnocchi for not being able to find someone to get gnocched up.
• “You can’t pass up a meet ‘n’ greet! You can’t pass up any kind of meat, you’re anemic!”

The multi-cam sitcom isn’t exactly at the peak of its popularity right now, The Big Bang Theory reaching its 200th episode being a pretty extreme outlier. If you watch TV regularly at all you’ll have noticed that more and more sitcoms are trying to be the next, say, Community, as opposed to a worthy successor to How I Met Your Mother. A big part of that has to do with this older format being seen as looking cheaper, and that’s particularly true when it comes to a change in setting.

Not counting Max and Caroline’s spur-of-the-moment jaunt to Paris, which was completely off-camera, there has been at least one instance where the girls have left Brooklyn in a noticeable way. Honestly, it’s hard to forget that lambo sitting on the beach–

-because it was a legitimately great set. I mean, they had sand. It more than stands up to a lot of the exterior shots of Ted Mosby and co. exiting McLaren’s, or getting into hijinks in front of a brownstone. The unfortunate thing is that their other excursions don’t live up to that standard.

Sure, just three episodes ago Max and Caroline walked through a forest, but on the whole a change of setting doesn’t really mean anything exciting. Typically a trip to a cabin in the woods means just the cabin, or having Rhode Island mostly be cheap hotel rooms and high school classrooms. While last week’s episode had me very excited to see the duo hit LA I knew at the time that we wouldn’t be regaled with shots of them driving past palm trees with the top down. It would’ve been nice, though.

Instead 2 Broke Girls provides us with three new sets: a hotel room, hotel bar/restaurant, and a Hollywood exec’s office. I’m not saying that the production crew needed to really glam it up, but a little glam, maybe? At the very least hiring a Johnny Depp impersonator to make a brief cameo appearance as opposed to just name-dropping the actor would have been cool, and pretty cost-effective.

While Caroline is in Hollywood to try to get her movie off the ground Max is . . . just there. They both meet Lawrence [Alec Mapa],

who I’m sure we’ll see more of soon. Max also bumps into Randy [Ed Quinn], and the two of them end up doing what consenting adults sometimes do. The big conflict in this episode revolves around Perry [Chris Williams], who owns the office I mentioned up above. He’s not actually all that interested in the proposed film, and Max ends up reacting to this as she does to most things.

That’s “not how you do things in Hollywood”, and it looks like she may have torpedoed Caroline’s chances at having her life story up on the silver screen. That is until Randy steps in and, as Perry’s lawyer, convinces the film exec to pay them a little more attention. It’s all very neat, but does introduce the idea that this guy wants to be there for Max, which is a relief to her given how interested she had been in him dropping her a line.

Even more interesting than Max’s new beau, which I don’t see lasting longer than a few episodes, is how the writers’ room was able to avoid the entire show revolving around the titular duo while they’re away. A hasty conversation over the phone about having her future child look like her causes Sophie to flip-flop on her decision last week to adopt, and suddenly she’s back to wanting to do things the traditional way, opting to go to a healer based in LA. I definitely feel a little betrayed given how I gave the show props for going this route, but it does make sense. 2 Broke Girls has invested too much in its other cast members to simply jettison them for two or more episodes, and even had the cold open set in the diner instead of just starting things off on the west coast. They can send Max and Caroline away, but they can’t ditch the whole crew.

In the end this sitcom seems invested in following the Hollywood arc for at least a little while longer. I’m not confident that it’ll be the springboard out of poverty they’re ostensibly looking for, but I don’t think they’re bound to find one before the last season’s finale. At the very least things are more interesting than they’ve ever been, and I look forward to seeing if the film is ever greenlit, and if the rest of the gang at the Williamsburg Diner make their way over to sunny Los Angeles.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. When they said “all expenses paid” it looks like they meant it.

The Title Refers To: Oh, right. Max’s baggage is lost, but it ultimately contributes nothing whatsoever to the plot. She gets it back a little later on.

Stray Observations:

• “Ha, I knew you two weren’t going to LA! I knew you were just pulling my chain!” Oh Han, ye of little faith. And no, that wasn’t a short joke.
• Also Max registered Han as a sex offender at city hall which is pretty messed up.
• “This is so sweet! Is that why they call it that?” That’s some live-action-Disney-show-level humour right there.
• “These are the only 12 steps anyone’s ever gonna get me to take.”
• “You were supposed to be in a room with two queens. Well, three if I was in it.” Oh, Lawrence. You card.
• “Look, not everyone in this hotel is gay. But Claude is hands-down-ma’-pants the gayest.”
• “Can I buy you a drink? [. . . ] A house?” Randy is rich.
• “It’s not the agency. I called to talk to Max and got Caroline’s My Life Doesn’t Suck Anymore podcast.”
• Alongside Lawrence this episode also features Quan [Nikki Tuazon], Perry’s disdainful receptionist. Two [additional to Han] Asians in an episode of 2 Broke Girls without any jokes relying on racial stereotypes. I’m calling that a plus in my book.
• “Absolutely, set in stone! We’re so excited.”
• Nina, who is Caroline’s agent of sorts, tells her that “You need to look broke. Busted. Discarded from society.” Which is fair, because you would never think she was living below the poverty level at first glance.
• “Maybe she’ll smooth everything over. Like everyone does here with their faces.”
• “Perry, what’s happening here, why is there bread on your table-“
• “I didn’t want to come on too strong. Should I not have taken dating advice from David Spade?”
• “Hey, we got a lady that looks like you back at home.”
• Unforunately Lawrence is unable to land the part of “a Filipino gay general manager of a hotel who used to be straight.” Guy just can’t catch a break.
• I’m really regretting shelving my “Pop Culture Put-Downs” feature [first seen here] because this episode was rife with them. Among the many dissed celebs there were mentions of: John Travolta, Keira Knightley, Kevin Hart, and Shannon Doherty.

Have you ever watched an episode of 2 Broke Girls and thought to yourself, “That episode ended too soon”? The latest installment of Max and Caroline’s Hollywood adventures continues this week, and somehow manages to feel much shorter than its 21-minute runtime.

A large part of that is because the show largely eschews showing for telling, with two big moments taking place entirely off camera and only referenced after the fact. While this can be effective, the result is ultimately more confusing than anything else. For sitcoms the primary goal is to make your viewers laugh, but the second priority of telling a good story comes swiftly behind that. A lack of emphasis on that aspect is what leads to viewers being confused as to whether or not a love interest has been written out or not.The Caroline Channing film is still well on its way to actually existing, and it’s time that screenwriters entered the picture. I’ll openly admit that I don’t know much about how Hollywood works, and so was unsure if the aforementioned screenwriters typically meet up with the men and women that biopics are about beforehand. Either way, apart from the wonderfully bubbly Leslie [Alison Rich, who unfortunately doesn’t appear again] the primary takeaway from their meeting with Caroline is that Max’s character won’t be in the film.

There’s actually a fair amount of complexity surrounding this conflict, with Max initially miffed she’s asked not to be present for the discussion and later having to accept that she’s been cut out of the story. Her primary outlet for keeping her mind off of all this is Randy, who she’s still seeing, and auditioning for The Price is Right. She’s never been one to stick around when she’s not wanted [that’s why she “hightailed it out of [her] mother’s womb”], but also doesn’t want to drag her friend down.

On the other side of things Caroline has to be as easy to work with as possible to ensure her film is made while also coping with the fact that Max is spending far more time with Randy than with her. There’s also the addition of Bob, a Hollywood relic that Max’s sort-of-boyfriend [they’re not putting labels on it] sets her up with. The audiences’s reaction to seeing George Hamilton [who?] on-stage was pretty telling as far as who the show’s primary demographic is.

Sophie is also still around, appearing onstage to particularly energetic whoops, while the diner continues to chug along, more or less, without its only two waitresses.

The first big event that takes place completely off-camera is Caroline’s wild night out with Bob in Vegas, during which he “lost $50,000 and somehow Faye Dunaway’s Oscar.” This is a perfect example of when a single camera format would have worked wonders, with a quick cutaway to their raucous evening that isn’t possible when filming before a live studio audience. The inclusion of that gag certainly isn’t necessary, but it would’ve been nice to have any kind of lead-in to it happening.

While in Vegas Bob imparts his centuries of wisdom [they make a lot of old jokes this episode] to Caroline, which has the effect of her running to find Max, who has just been picked out for The Price is Right. She asks her best friend to step away from a chance to star on a gameshow and instead help argue for her inclusion on the film. It’s one of those classic “Max and Caroline are friends!” moments, and leads up to the next scene the audience doesn’t get to see.

The follow-up meeting with the screenwriters is likewise skipped over, which is a lot more fine, what with the vastly less entertainment to mine from it. Max thanks Caroline for fighting to keep her in the movie and her life and things wrap up. Both scenes being excised is a big part of what makes it feel like the episode is short for time, as well as the weird resolution to Bob [he leaves on a helicopter and Caroline cries out after him, because of course] and lack of resolution for Randy, who ostensibly will be back around next week. This week actually had a far better narrative structure than most, and kept me engaged with what was going on, but ended up feeling rushed for whatever reason.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. See my “all expenses paid” comment in my last review.

The Title Refers To: An exchange between Bob and Caroline:

“I don’t need fake friends, I have Max.”

“That’s what Wesley Snipes said about Jane Fonda.”

“They’re not friends.”

“You bet your ass they’re not.”

It’s a really weird line to title this episode with, at least in my opinion.

Stray Observations:

• No Lawrence in this episode, but there’s honestly no room for him.
• “I just wanna tell Earl about the pot sitch out here. He’ll think it’s high-larious.” Groan.
• I really want to know if they got a stunt double for Caroline’s fall-

• “Max, you’re going out with Randy again? I’ve barely seen you since we got here. And I’ve seen David Schwimmer four times.”
• “Writers are actors who gave up, so, they’re allowed to eat.”
• “That’s so unprofessional.” / “Right, like I’m the one who has to stay 500 feet away from Fred Savage.” Leslie and Jason, the other screenwriter, have fun.
• “I have an appointment to stand in line for a little thing called Price is Right. Y’ever heard of it? [laughs] You know you have-” Arguably one of the best line-readings Kat Dennings has ever done on the show.
• JLaw wants to play Caroline in what’s sure to be a brave “no makeup role”.
• Cue the old jokes-
• “I think that’s the very first Bob.”
• “If me and Randy are May-December you two are May-dead.”
• “I’m not gonna sleep with God’s college roommate to get ahead in Hollywood!”
• “That man sure knows how to make an exit. Not from life, but, from everything else-“
• “We’ve got a lot of 12-year-old boys playing sick at home, how long can you two jump up and down?” The Price is Right producer knows her audience.
• “Carpool and . . . fluffernutter . . . because soccer, right?” Sophie’s attempts to act like a stay-at-home mom from the Midwest.
• I actually found the cutaways to the diner a lot of fun, as Max left a series of Home Alone-style traps in Han’s office, “each one more fiendishly clever than the last.”

Money has always been an integral part of 2 Broke Girls, and this episode had me thinking quite a bit about the show’s budget. Well into its fifth season and having passed the 100th episode milestone some time ago, it’s a show that CBS has some confidence in, albeit one that’s barely beating Mike and Molly in ratings, a show that is currently airing its final season. With all that said, I began wondering about how much money the network was willing to throw its way.

Almost as if reading my comments about the limited settings this three camera sitcom has to offer, and with the sole intent of having me eat my words, “And the Great Escape” is the closest the show has been to feeling like it doesn’t take place in front of a live studio audience. While that’s not necessarily a hallmark of a great episode, it’s impressive to say the least.

The first, pictured above, is Randy’s house. While the interior is nothing special, it’s the fact that production also created an exterior year that really made an impression on me. The sand and plants are a really nice touch, and it even offers an opportunity for some great physical comedy on Beth Behrs’ part [her greatest strength, in this reviewer’s opinion].

The second is the Hollywood sign below, which is particularly notable because of how big it is. Having Max and Caroline walk around near the bottom of the letters hid how large they actually were, and the wide shot pictured is one the most visually exciting that the show has ever done.

As far as the actual narrative of the episode itself, there are ups and downs, as usual. The A-plot is arguably Caroline trying to get in touch with Jennifer Lawrence, who past episodes have hinted would be playing her in her riches-to-rags biopic, for the actress to see if she “digs [her] vibe”. They say her name [usually in the form of J. Law] a lot, though it’s not like any audiences were surprised when she never showed. As with most television, big celebrity appearances are advertised well ahead of time, and there was never anything akin to the media push that people like Martha Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, and yes, even 2Chainz received.

Max’s storyline is still largely centred on Randy, who unfortunately isn’t much to write about. He’s affable enough as a character, sure, but really isn’t very interesting. Things are moving full steam ahead with him and Max, and she almost says the L-word when talking to Caroline about him. This is all played up to make her taking care of his dog Bruno be that much of a big deal.

The two storylines intersect when Bruno runs out the door that Caroline left open. Their search brings them beneath the Hollywood sign and a conflict immediately arises when Caroline would rather FaceTime J. Law instead of search for Randy’s dog. She ends up stuffing her phone down the front of her pants to dissuade Max from getting at it, but to no avail [I’m sure the dozen remaining Maxoline shippers were thrilled]. Max takes the phone and hangs up on the Academy Award-winner.

There’s also a cannibal serial killer named Walter Gary Vance on the loose to really raise he stakes, but is overall pretty inconsequential.

While the episode closes and centres on Max and Randy admitting how much they like each other, in their own unique way, what concerned me is how much they diminish Caroline’s issues. J. Law ends up passing on her film, and realistically her involvement was probably one of the largest factors to it becoming a reality. It’s all swept under the rug, really, and Max never really apologizes for it. The high point for Caroline is Sophie giving her flowers as some sort of peace offering, only for the Polish woman to yell “Mind your own business, bitch!” in her face.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $390. Yeah, this isn’t changing anytime soon.

The Title Refers To: Bruno escaping from home. I would include Walter Gary Vance in this as well, except that it’s never explicitly stated that he’s escaped from anywhere. Considering that he’s revealed to be Randy’s neighbour makes it’s hard for me to say that he has any sort of thematic connection to the episode title.

Stray Observations:

• “If you see Burt Reynolds tell him that I have his belt.” The audience really loved this line from Earl, but honestly I don’t get it.
• One of a handful of high point moments was the cut from the diner, where the gang are listening to Max and Caroline regaling them with live coverage of a red carpet event, to their hotel room where the two girls are getting drunk off of tiny bottles of liquor.
• “I feel bad lying to Han, I mean he’s already been catfished three times this year.” To be fair, two of those three times it was Max.
• “This one’s like licking a beet’s undercarriage.” Randy’s pressed juice gifts are appreciated, if not enjoyed.
• “Wish I had my vibe. They wouldn’t let me bring it on the plane.”
• Another great moment: Sophie entering holding a bundle of burning sage, the fire alarm being heard in the short moment the door is open.”
• “I’m going for Grace Kelly, not Woody Harrelson.”
• Sophie is trying to be nice to Caroline to cleanse her aura, and she describes the latter’s behaviour as “triggering” her. I could write more about that, but maybe some other time.
• “I’m looking down on all of LA.” / “Oh, I’m doing that from here.”
• Caroline gave Randy a look like his wifi password was difficult, but I listened to it once and wrote it all down and it’s not that hard: “125bD–63fF521”
• “Not sure but you can get a baby for $80 on the dark web.” I will never not enjoy jokes about the dark web.
• “You are coming with me! Randy loves Bruno and I lo- like Randy.”
• “Can cannibals climb?” / “Well they’re not called climbables, so that’s good.”
• Sophie shows up at the end of the episode wearing a bindi. I’m ambivalent of how to feel about that, so here’s both a point and counterpoint to consider.

You know what I realized after two whole weeks off of writing reviews? I don’t have to watch these episodes anymore! No, I don’t mean that the show is ending. 2 Broke Girls has actually been renewed for a sixth season alongside a slew of CBS’ other programs. What I mean is that a quick visit to their website will tell you everything you need to know about the next episode.

All of the images I use for the banner graphics above my reviews are taken from slideshows on CBS.com, which are always accompanied by captions. This week’s, for example, contains such gems as:

• Randy’s therapist breaks some bad news to Max.
• Max drowns her sorrows in tiny bottles of booze.
• Max listens to what Sophie’s guru has to say about her recent breakup.
• Max, Caroline, and Sophie return to Brooklyn after an extended stay in Hollywood.

You could also just read the synopsis given underneath the very first promo photo, which tells us that:

The girls near the end of their Hollywood adventure, which finds Caroline signing away the film rights to her life story while Max deals with the fall-out after her L.A. steady, Randy, breaks up with her via his therapist. Plus, Sophie continues to try everything she can to get pregnant on the next episode of 2 Broke Girls entitled “And The Pity Party Bus.”

Which isn’t to say that other TV shows don’t also use similar write-ups to hype their upcoming episodes, they do, but they also tend to preserve a bit of the mystery. A conflict is typically mentioned, as opposed to the conflict [Max gets dumped!] and the eventual conclusion [the girls return to NY!]. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you could skim a dozen or so photos instead of tuning in for twenty-something minutes of TV every Thursday night. You could always just do that and then read my reviews!

To be fair, the episode lays it out in the first few seconds that the girls will be back in Williamsburg before we know it. Caroline closes out her deal to sell her life story while talking to Max about how serious it’s going with Randy, which foreshadows the breakup that immediately follows. The three of them are sitting in the same hotel bar/restaurant they first met when they’re joined by Elliot Charles, Randy’s therapist [played by John Michael Higgins, probably best known now for being the Pitch Perfect commentator who’s not Elizabeth Banks].

Though I’ve always loved him as Professor Whitman on Community. [Season 1, Episode 3 “Introduction to Film”]

Between there and the diner there are only two more short stops, with the first dedicated to closure. Unlike her breakup with Deke, which offered so little resolution that audiences of the show were unsure things had even ended between them, things with Randy are given a definitive end. Deciding to take a party bus back to the airport to cheer up her best friend, Caroline directs their driver to Randy’s house and forces the . . .

. . . incredibly well-built gentleman . . .

. . . to explain why he chose to break things off. He tells her that “the truth” is that he “[likes her] too much.” And that’s that. Later they drop by to see Audra, a healer, who is supposed to be helping Sophie get pregnant. Instead she spends much more time helping Max with her feelings, still raw from the day’s events, with a hokey procedure involving literally bottling [okay, jarring] her feelings.

All in all, it feels like a way of amending what happened late in Season 3 of 2 Broke Girls, even if it is an entire two years late. Of course it would help if we really felt anything about Randy, who doesn’t quite hold up a candle to Deke as far as being likeable or interesting. Still, I suppose it’s the thought that counts. Max has an important relationship come to an end and the show devotes a good amount of screentime to allow both her and the audience to come to terms with it. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s an improvement in storytelling at the very least.

As a capper to the episode, it turns out that Sophie has been pregnant for the past three months! This is really exciting news, blunted slightly by the fact that she’s been drinking this entire time [most recently five martinis on the plane ride over]. That unfortunate fact aside, it’ll be interesting to see how the show treats this going forward, and if the show has room for a infant actor and the chops to appropriately deal with Sophie and Oleg as parents. Max and Caroline [and Sophie, I guess] coming back to Williamsburg coincides with 2 Broke Girls‘ return to television, and I’m hoping that the time away has given the writers’ room the time they need for a full return to the status quo to feel new and fresh, instead of just more of the same.

Current Total: $390.

New Total: $90. Ostensibly spent on the party bus. It’s also heavily implied by Caroline that they’re going to be coming into money within the next month or so, so I’ll be watching out for that in the coming episodes.

The Title Refers To: Max’s breakup resulted in her feeling sorry for herself, which she spent doing, in part, on a party bus. Honestly, this is one of my favourite 2 Broke Girls episode titles ever, and I only wish they’d spent more time on it.

Stray Observations:

• “Earl, I told you to mop the entrance! That floor is dirtier than Bob Saget at a Comedy Central Roast.” Han has gotten snippy with the girls away.
• “I don’t think any of us are gonna make it past tomorrow. Han’s walkin’ around like he owns the place.” / “I do own the place!!!“
• There’s a whole bit where Caroline talks to Max about how she’s always using the f-word, which feels off if only because it’s so obviously false. I half expected them to opt for some old-fashioned bleeped out swears [a la the most recent episode of Black-ish], but instead they opt for a non-censored “bitch”.
• Mao, acupuncturist to the stars. Tag-line: “He’s poked more famous people than John Meyer”
• This episode also feels like a slap in the face to Maxoline shippers. First with Max saying that she was only bisexual for a week, but mostly because she was hitchhiking. Then with her cracking: “No guy, but now I have a middle-aged lesbian lover.”
• It’s really hard to shock Caroline ever since she saw a mouse dry-humping a potato on her couch.
• The last time Max was really angry she tore off an eyebrow. Caroline, seconds later: “And it took me a long time [dramatic pause] to grow it back.”
• “I rarely say this to a lady, but, ‘Put a baby in me!‘”
• “You know what they say, absence makes . . . me have to masturbate almost constantly.” My favourite-ever line from Oleg, I think.